Happiness Tycoon [Today's News Poem, October 29, 2010]

Happiness Tycoon [Today's News Poem, October 29, 2010]

The question's not, 'who might be plotting?'
It's "why aren't you plotting?'
If an ass of a queer on the bus is enough to make you erect,
Why must you fear it? It's rubbing against you!

Ledgers aren't meant to be balanced,
They're there to embezzle.
Crime doesn't pay when you're caught, but
Behind every fortune—no! everyone happy—is theft.

"Obama spoke publicly about the incident the day after the plot was uncovered in a bid to show that he and his administration were on top of the situation. He was heavily criticized for taking three days to make his first public statement after the failed bomb attempt on an U.S. airliner last Christmas Day."
—Reuters, Fri Oct 29, 2010 5:51pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN2923536820101029

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Temple For Temples [#twitterfoundpoem, October 29, 2010]

Temple For Temples [#twitterfoundpoem, October 29, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

With no color, I played
between red and blue spheres.
I planted a Symphony Orchestra,
planted my temple wit
different color spheres wit animals on thm.
the harmony of SPHERES
is a gun to your head
on your way down to nowhere, really.
harmonize wit all the animals on thm SPHERES.
Planting my Church at your temple
is nowhere, really; nowhere, really down
and out of reach, for a while;
really down at your temple,
my temple: your head.

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The Smallest Infinite Set [Today's News Poem, October 28, 2010]

The Smallest Infinite Set [Today's News Poem, October 28, 2010]

Capo, the box, has absconded with flowers,
Depleted their wavelengths; configured the towers
Of better than vision: its modes are unrivaled.

Detach your own retina; hoist it and sail:
Stupidity scars; it's the horn of the snail
Retracting—avoiding the terrible stimulus.

Everything's slanted, diagonal, trailing;
Make a selection, the future is hailing:
Enhance your reality; limit your options.

"President Obama gently sparred with Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show" in the final run-up to next week's midterm elections, after the comedian called his legislative progress "timid.""
—CNN Wire Staff, October 28, 2010 2:46 p.m. EDT
http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/10/28/obama.daily.show/index.html

http://books.google.com/books?id=l-75zLjGlZQC&pg=PA214&lpg=PA214&dq=dialectic+of+enlightenment,+genesis+of+stupidity



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Stroke Off And Have the Job Done! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 28, 2010]

Stroke Off And Have the Job Done! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 28, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

when life gives you a stroke,
you gotta stroke stroke stroke
and have the job done!!!
wish you could pick up
my life & stuff lying here
stroking myself & goin half crazy.
Wish u could make just one clean stroke
and have the job done!
i'm lying In jokes cuz my life is pure comedy.
lying myself & goin half stroke:
pure comedy pure comedy
just make one clean stroke
and have the job done!

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Kingdom of Horses [Today's News Poem, October 27, 2010]

Kingdom of Horses [Today's News Poem, October 27, 2010]

Prophets in robes made of sackcloth and diesel dust
Know that the jester is credible—even drunk,
Pantless and slathered with feces. So what if he
Stinks and his modesty's crawling with lice and fleas?
Flies on the wall of the office of tragedy
Watch as the faces on Market Street vanish with
Aging, or crawl in a stupor from bus stop to
Gutter, the suit gone to tatters. A briefcase of
Bottles and powders that faxes forgetting from
Files made of billable hours. That money is
Nothing compared to this kingdom of horses.

"Jon Stewart is not a newsman, but polls show he has the reach of one at the top of his profession. He's not a politician or an activist, but he's set to host a rally expected to draw tens of thousands to Washington's National Mall. And with President Obama ready to appear on his Comedy Central show Wednesday -- less than a week before the midterm elections -- Stewart is reconfirming that he's more than just an entertainer and satirist."
—Jason Hanna, CNN, October 27, 2010 -- Updated 1646 GMT (0046 HKT)
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/10/26/jon.stewart.obama/

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Dark And Stormy Knight [#twitterfoundpoem, October 27, 2010]

Dark And Stormy Knight [#twitterfoundpoem, October 27, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY Knight
Cold as the heart of darkness
in a snowman........... a blizzard of the mind.
DARK Knight storms Fall:
surprise attack!
Are we having a Batman moment?
Oh my goodness, was it ever!
the Knight raid sirens are going! here comes the storm!
DARK AND STORMY Knight
just got a heart of darkness jacket
and it made his day!!
DARK AND STORMY Knight beating the Heat
is a GREAT way to kick off the season of
DARK AND STORMY Knight!!

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The American Fascist's Secret Oath [Today's News Poem, October 26, 2010]

The American Fascist's Secret Oath [Today's News Poem, October 26, 2010]

Fraudulent irony, registered properly,
Sounds like the scripture believers have touted.
Register discontent softly and faithlessly:
Undermine ballots in service to property.

"In 2006, conservative activists repeatedly claimed that the problem of people casting fraudulent votes was so widespread that it was corrupting the political process and possibly costing their candidates victories. The accusations turned out to be largely false, but they led to a heated debate, with voting rights groups claiming that the accusations were crippling voter registration drives and reducing turnout."
—IAN URBINA, The New York Times, Published: October 26, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/27/us/politics/27fraud.html

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Self-Seduction [#twitterfoundpoem, October 26, 2010]

Self-Seduction [#twitterfoundpoem, October 26, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

You chose Self Seduction
and married yourself;
abandoned by changes
you made in yourself.
you chose Self direction,
and abandoned your fellow;
you can't get away,
but you are not giving up!
You are stuck and can't get
away from yourself,
so accept what you are
and marry yourself!!

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Maybe Cory Doctorow Will Take Some of the Stink Off Self-Publishing

I wish I liked his writing as much as I like his thoughts on writing. Then again, I've probably read the wrong compositions, because people insist I _should_ be a fan of his:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2010/10/25/130811846/doctorow

TL;DR? Want summary?
1) Uses Lulu.
2) Gives away most writing. Some will be fans and buy anyhow.
3) Uses social networking to promote sales, build awareness, and edit his book.
4) Accepts commissions and other assorted revenue opportunities.

Maybe people will stop thinking self-publishing is only for clowns.

Well, I might be a clown, but let me be a tragic one with a wee bit of nobility...

Not the sort that sells burgers.

On that note, buy my book!

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Scythian War Chant [Today's News Poem, October 25, 2010]

Scythian War Chant [Today's News Poem, October 25, 2010]

After tonight, when the smoke from our campfire
Alters our instinct, we'll ride on our ponies
Offering iron from bowstring to dousers
Looking for rain. We will shoot off our arrows,
Manifest fertile and effortless prairies,
Bringing the future much closer—and higher.

"A growing number of Iraqi security force members are becoming dependent on drugs or alcohol, which has led to concerns about a significant addiction problem among the country’s armed services as the insurgency remains a potent force and American troops prepare to depart at the end of next year... Those who admit to using drugs and alcohol on duty acknowledge that the substances lead to erratic behavior, but say long hours working at checkpoints, constant fear and witnessing the grisly deaths of colleagues make drugs and alcohol less a choice than a necessity... Some senior police and army officers said that because drug abusers were typically among their most fearless fighters, they were loath to take disciplinary action against them."
—TIMOTHY WILLIAMS and OMAR AL-JAWOSHY, The New York Times, Published: October 24, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/25/world/middleeast/25baghdad.html

"The news, delivered in a phone call, left Sue Bates aghast: she was losing her job of 22 years after testing positive for a legally prescribed drug... The medication that Mrs. Bates was taking for back pain — hydrocodone, a narcotic prescribed by her doctor — was among many that the company, which makes car parts, had suddenly deemed unsafe."
—KATIE ZEZIMA and ABBY GOODNOUGH, The New York Times, Published: October 24, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/25/us/25drugs.html

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Notice That Android? [#twitterfoundpoem, October 25, 2010]

Notice That Android? [#twitterfoundpoem, October 25, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

IMAGINE MARRYING an Android
On the Black Market...
THAT WOULD BE A MISCEGENATION!
if ure a parent, aunt, uncle, big bro. or sis,
u gotta be careful who u leave ur kids around.
ur grandkids will b cyborgs.
I get scared...
there are 6 classes you can kill with impunity
#nazis, #robots, #aliens, #ninjas cyborgs and #zombies.
notice that Androids aren't on the list?
but ur grandkids are!

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Fen Trolls Haunt the Bell [Today's News Poem, October 24, 2010]

Fen Trolls Haunt the Bell [Today's News Poem, October 24, 2010]

The death tolls
of bell trolls.
Let's march to hell.
Pave it. We'll dwell
where the stone-parches
will match our fine arches.
Listen, this hellhole of stairs
and the best view of a world, which fares
like a fen,
was drained and surrounded with pen,
coated with rubble from vats
then crushed until flat:
it was rushed
and a haunting of will o' wisps brushed
off our pavement of sand
to ring the bell proudly and to strike up the band.

"The death toll from a cholera epidemic in Haiti topped 250 Sunday, and a handful of cases in the country's capital were confirmed, as government officials and aid groups prepared for what they call an inevitable spread of the disease. "
— BETSY MCKAY, The Wall Street Journal, OCTOBER 25, 2010
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303864404575572691625613642.html

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Baseball VERSES Eightball [#twitterfoundpoem, October 24, 2010]

Baseball VERSES Eightball [#twitterfoundpoem, October 24, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Eightball VERSES Baseball curses.
what can i do? i got out of the pool
and got coke ON yo table!
i came
from retirement, 70yr old
ON yo table!
Baseball curses on tv:
am i dissin' my girl?
Eightball VERSES:
am i drunk out
or drugged out of the pool
and into the Dugout?
AYE, IF U YELLIN OUT,
NOBODY FUCKS WIT YOU,
FUCKS WIT YOU, NOBODY
FUCKS WIT YOU,
AYE FUCKING WHAAACCK
FUCKING WHAAACCK
FUCKING WHAAACCK!!
AYE, NOBODY FUCKS WIT YOU,
FUCKS ON yo table.
the crabs ON yo table
got out of the pool.

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Harmony of Microcosm; Macrocosm [Today's News Poem, October 23, 2010]

Harmony of Microcosm; Macrocosm [Today's News Poem, October 23, 2010]

Poison the poisoners: cure them with toxin.
Kill off the killers: negation is logic.
Reason with reasons: the truth is a context.
Validate values; for everything's worthy,
Possible, plausible, opposite, alternate.

"Britain's role in the alleged torture and unlawful killing of Iraqi civilians may be the subject of legal action following the publication of nearly 400,000 leaked military documents by the website WikiLeaks."
— Mark Townsend, Jamie Doward and Paul Harris, guardian.co.uk, Saturday 23 October 2010 19.51 BST
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/23/iraq-war-logs-legal-britain

http://wikileaks.org



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THEY ARE STANDING HERE!!!!!! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 23, 2010]

THEY ARE STANDING HERE!!!!!! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 23, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Can't turn on the TV without being bombarded with Demonic shit!!!!!
Demons are REAL. they are Standing here.
maybe someone already said that.
and maybe they will invade my thoughts.
they are Standing here
and ready to attack and Have me (personally) defenestrate me!!!!!
I turn Off the TV
and they are still Standing here!!!!!
Demonic Toys or New Years Evil
getting ready to do battle,
defenestrate someone out of the window:
isn't that redundant ?



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Jesse Noe Mendez is Probably a Pedophile [Bonus Poem, Re: CombatWords Spammer, Oct 22, 2010]

Jesse Noe Mendez is Probably a Pedophile [Bonus Poem, Re: CombatWords Spammer, Oct 22, 2010]
Alexa shows he has no rank:
It's wrong, his page is ripe with skank;
But Jess prefers a whiff of fart
And rolls in turds he calls his art.
His many fans are spammers too;
They're circle jerks: a smegma crew.

http://highartat1968.blogspot.com
http://theartofjesseiiflowers.blogspot.com
http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com

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Pre-Birthday Appeal to the Muses [Today's News Poem, October 22, 2010]

Pre-Birthday Appeal to the Muses [Today's News Poem, October 22, 2010]

Let death be a metaphor, not repercussion:
My oath was too hasty. A future to steal,
Yet still made the offer to cut off my life
In biblical half, as a sixteenth year kid.

Reneging is futile besides, so discussions
To swear—not like Jephthah—a different deal
That's kinder, is fair I think. Also my strife
With self must amuse you. I know you forbid

The breaking of promises, still you acknowledge
I'm faithless for God, but have faith in the Muses,
Ontology, possible worlds and if value
To you is idea then I've certainly served you
And meant what I said when I promised to serve you
And mean it 'till death—whatever you choose is correct.

"For his girlfriend Kate Winslet‘s 35th birthday last month, he paid the Belstaff store in London a visit and came away with the perfect gift—one of their classic leather jackets. "
—People Magazine, October 12, 2010
http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2010/10/12/the-scoop-on-kate-winslets-birthday-gift-from-her-new-boyfriend/?xid=rss-topheadlines

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You'll Get Your News Poem Soon, But 1st...

Toylit is 9 months old Today. 270 days, 270 News Poems, with probably another 30 Bonus Poems and 150 #twitterfoundpoems, for something like 450 poems this year. If Toylit is a tool in your news-digestion arsenal, please support it. Yes, this is the NPR pitch--sorry about that--but you know it's true. You only need to examine the advertisers 'in good faith' and that'll help me out without costing you anything. If you want to take it a step further, you can shell out the $20 for a copy of Toylit. It's cool if you don't want to do either, I'm glad you're reading.

Ok, time for the News Poem

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The Gun is Good! The Penis is Evil! CombatWords for October 22, 2010

"The safety of life is this, to examine everything all through, what it is itself, what is its material, what the formal part; with all thy soul do justice and to say the truth. What remains except to enjoy life by joining one good thing to another so as not to leave even the smallest intervals between."


Your rebuttal Zardoz?



http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/10/combatwords-october-22-2010-vice-virtue.html

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Vagblockcockblockpompompoms [#twitterfoundpoem, October 22, 2010]

Vagblockcockblockpompompoms [#twitterfoundpoem, October 22, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

IT'S INTERNATIONAL cockblock day!!
CELEBRATE that bullshit all day!!
Im bored with night life
So I might as well cockblock all day
AND all life. every other year i LIVED
AND every other night i died.
i hear they replaced life with pom-poms
AND heels of course. but yeah lemme know...
life IS SUCH A vagblockcockblockpompompoms
but death is even worse!!

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Red is Not Red Anymore [Today's News Poem, October 21, 2010]

Red is Not Red Anymore [Today's News Poem, October 21, 2010]

You said you could live in my mind;
A house I would share with you—both
Our properties joined with a door:
Unlocked, then unhinged and removed.

I walk to my office and sit:
My swiveling chair and my files
Surround me. The cabinet drawer
Is dented—my knuckles have scars.

I open it—look, there's the snap
You took in Sedona, the curls
In stones that predated the ape.
The redness like bricks in that pic:

Your house in Virginia—I loved
That first home because it was yours.
And after that things got much worse
For you and for us—though I loved

The sanity felt with you—still
There—even though cliffs are a plunge,
No longer a sentinel-call
To make this thing love—to define

It carnally after the minds
Have joined and not prior. It meant—
I don't know what it meant for you—
It's the only memory that mattered to me.

"When Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his explosive 1991 Supreme Court confirmation hearing, Thomas vehemently denied the allegations and his handlers cited his steady relationship with another woman in an effort to deflect Hill's allegations.
Lillian McEwen was that woman. "
—Michael A. Fletcher, Washington Post Staff Writer, Friday, October 22, 2010
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/21/AR2010102106645.html

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Hey Followers! Raid on the Mayans! RT This! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 21, 2010]

Hey Followers! Raid on the Mayans! RT This! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 21, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

hey!! followers!!
Watch out!! the mayans are out tonight
with blow dart GUNS!
We cannot be saved until
we have risen above all our enemies,
frenemies, Ma vision du couple and...
hey!! followers!!
Find friends and allies - and...know thine enemy.
The more you prep for opposition, the quicker you'll push thru.
ALL I GOTTA DO IS LIE
and i'll have all these followers, friends, allies and
henchmen. I rolled an 18 on my charisma,
rolled an 18 on my gun snipe,
and My henchmen conquistadors rolled a natural 20
for their genocide check...
now the mayans are Best frenemies with benefits,
real estate and all the rest for the sake of my benefit
for the sake of my love
and for the sake of my benefit!!

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Toylit Q1/Q2 2010 Report: Six Months of Gestation... FINISHED & ON SALE NOW!

Selected News Poems from Jan 22, 2010 through July 22, 2010. 119 pages w/ 110 poems. http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/toylit-q1q2-2010-report-six-months-of-gestation/9547765

Rutherford Toady did the artwork and it's pretty damned good. Don't believe me? Here's the cover:

I edited most of the poems: sometimes they needed punctuation changes, sometimes the final couplet was terrible--but of course sometimes the poems came out perfectly and needed no revision. 110 poems at $19.95 costs you about $.18 a poem; cheaper than the newspaper and more durable too (both in content and in format). This book represents a cumulative effort of approximately 600 hours and I'm pleased with the result. If you enjoy All the News in Witty Print (or All the News That's Shit; In Print), please buy a copy.

Also, let me know if you want to review it.

Thanks for reading,

-KW

ps: Sorry folks, no #twitterfoundpoems in this edition.

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Virginia Thomas's Damned Spot [Today's News Poem, October 20, 2010]

Virginia Thomas's Damned Spot [Today's News Poem, October 20, 2010]

Though truth can be smothered, it's always uncovered.
Facts are just residue; sticky opinions
That decompose slowly, before they are wholly
Liquified; proof disappears with the witness.

The body loves twitching; so free of the itching
Life tends command, it is free to be rigid;
To burn up the lipids; to pulse with insipid
Fury, then slacking forever—then rotting.

The scent is much shriller (of course) for the killer;
Spoiling her evening, her marriage to status;
Her trips to salons where it stinks up her hair—
Rotting at breakfast, at dinner and bedtime.

""Good morning Anita Hill, it's Ginni Thomas," said the message left this month, according to a transcript provided by ABC News. "I just want to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometimes and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband."... But Lillian McEwen, a former Senate Judiciary Committee lawyer who said she dated Clarence Thomas from 1979 through the mid-1980s, told The Washington Post in an interview that Hill's long-ago description of Thomas's behavior resonated with her. "
—Michael A. Fletcher, Washington Post Staff Writer, Wednesday, October 20, 2010; 10:19 AM
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/19/AR2010101907062.html



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Samhain, Submarines & North Korea: New Poem in vis a tergo!

http://visatergo.wordpress.com

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Talon Bout in Class [#twitterfoundpoem, October 20, 2010]

Talon Bout in Class [#twitterfoundpoem, October 20, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Why we talon bout death in class?
Almost 3:30 and feelin good,
juat wanna get fucked up: drinkin, burning..
first class all the way!
whatchu goin do When death-o-mania
comes for you by predator missile,
When you lose the last pride left in you
in a talon bout, in class, While Swords,
talon, predator, your teacher, and your class
are laughing at you?!

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Optical Illusion [Today's News Poem, October 19, 2010]

Optical Illusion [Today's News Poem, October 19, 2010]

A mobile of airplanes
Projected a shadow
To prove that one's vision
Is fooled with some floodlights.
I gazed at the pattern,
Ignoring exhibits
Of physics in motion.
The cars were just dullards;
The airplanes, just metal.
The phone for the grown-ups,
Arranging and chatting.
Though fearsome, they groveled
While talking to someone:
An expletive, whispered.
Receivers in darkness.
Maturity seemed to
Be horror that ought not
Be spoken; a terror
Of duties to voices
That call in the evening;
The voice of possession.
I'm owned by an owner
Who's owned by an owner—
And sugar is meted
So carefully one must
Be certain that nothing
Is spilled, or we'll crawl on
Our knees to recover
Our losses and longings.
If pleasure's forsaken,
Then whimsy will vanish,
And cars will be autos—
Illusions, just shadows.

"The tugboats are moving, the dredges are working, and today Exploratorium officials will host a groundbreaking ceremony on a $300 million project that will transform two huge piers on the Embarcadero into a new home for the hands-on science museum."
—David Perlman, Chronicle Science Editor, Tuesday, October 19, 2010
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/10/18/MN941FS8PI.DTL

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Until Darkness Can't Even Imagine Darkness [#twitterfoundpoem, October 19, 2010]

Until Darkness Can't Even Imagine Darkness [#twitterfoundpoem, October 19, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

We must combine the toughness of the serpent
and the softness of the dick on a Tuesday afternoon.
We must look at the bright side until the darkness
can't even imagine darkness. We must continually
attend to our dick, whether Male or female,
let's get that clear. a tough mind and a tender heart
are delicious delicacies, and Besides
Times have changed mom: I must continually
attend to dick. since you've slept in the disturbing softness
of someone's penis salute, you know I must do it!
Your kids should always come first before the club
on a Tuesday afternoon , and you know I must do it!

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