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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thanks For the Ride [Bonus Twitter Found Poem, May 11, 2010]

Thanks For the Ride [Bonus Twitter Found Poem, May 11, 2010]

I can't believe I actually found taking my thumbprints fun
And the toilet water was delicious!!!!!
taking a ride with you Gorillas
having my arm broken And being
covered in blood... Wow that was the most
fun I had in my life.
please don't Soak me again.
I Want to keep my thumbprints please.
I like to breathe.
I survived to be friends with you.
Please keep friends like me
around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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Drink-Up. Double-Down [Today's News Poem, May 11, 2010]

Drink-Up. Double-Down [Today's News Poem, May 11, 2010]

The sacred equation's been factored at last.
Collateral gains are the method of chance.
With losses insured, the casino baksheesh
Is kicked to the lobbies—to party elites.
To zero the players the winnings are taxed.
To balance the numbers, house credit expands,
And likewise the house, which resembles Versailles.
The mirrors have cameras, the dining's refined;
The house pays your bills 'till you're zeroed and out—
Who rescues the weak? It's the strong who survive.
Now finish your drink: double-nothing. Your down.

“The European Union (EU) announced a TARP-sized rescue program for its sovereign debt crisis, and relieved global investors sent stock markets surging on Monday.”
– Mark Trumbull, Christian Science Monitor, May 10, 2010

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Pronounced Model Land [Guest News Poem, May 11, 2010 by Misti Rainwater-Lites]

Pronounced Model Land
Misti Rainwater-Lites

Tyra Banks, fairy godpimp
to many a wannabe Gisele Bunchen,
is a literary genius, poised to take
the world by storm with Modelland.
In Modelland the boys and girls
shit strawberry fat free ice cream
and there is no unrequited love
or mediocre hair days. Everyone
is, like, totally hot and all the skyscrapers
are mirrored and the cotton candy clouds
only rain confetti and lingerie.
Choo choo. All aboard for Modelland.
Make me a believer, make this size fourteen
Texas baby mama believe
that such a place exists
and there is room at the inn for me.

To read more Misti Rainwater-Lites, go to

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The Crushing Gravity of the Situation [Twitter Found Poem, May 11, 2010]

The Crushing Gravity of the Situation [Twitter Found Poem, May 11, 2010]
Tweets+Edits= #twitterfoundpoem

boredd ?! evil ?!
mock your dreams & aspirations...
ppl who know the least argue the most
For example

my office crush is influenced by the object of said crush
I think the effect of fact is finite.
it is proportional to the strength of the lie.
the gravity of the object of said crush
is finite, but my delusion is infinite ?!
I can't believe I don't know why
I'm boredd ... why I have dreams & aspirations.
I don't know why gravity is finite
but boredd is infinite...

What's the matter?
If ur ex tries 2 hurt ur feelings by exploding
in a mushroom cloud,
If people laugh and mock at your dreams & aspirations,
just think about the crush of gravity.
FIGHT!!! laugh!!! flaughing
at the mushroom cloud in us all
takes the proportional strength & evil
of Murdoch & Huffington!
the gravity of my delusion is infinite!!!

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COST ANALYSIS [Repost of May 10, 2010 Guest News Poem, by Jeff Chon]

COST ANALYSIS [Guest News Poem, May 10, 2010]
Jeff Chon

How would you feel if I told
you it costs the company

six hundred dollars a week
to walk with my red vest and

PDT holstered, to pace
across scuffed linoleum,

with thirty two watts of
fluorescent tubing washing

my skin a starchy gray, with
Careless Whisper piping through

the speakers, to chase you through
sliding doors, the parking lot,

to tackle you, restrain you,
choke you out, my keys jangling,

huffing and puffing over
a five buck tube of toothpaste?


Go to Chonsense for more Jeff Chon links. Jeff also edits vis a tergo.

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