Between identity and reality is paranoia;
A sense of visionary omnipotence is underneath those,
Beyond that, nihilism as knowledge—not as inspiration—
And hope's not opposite to the pessimism we all suffer.
Impose persona, you can impersonate what and whomever
You crave becoming, but it behooves you to be the imposed on.
For example, you're reading this page, uncertain
That this poem is meaningful—now you get it.
For you either reject what it claims, or welcome
Diagnosis, but either version affirms it.
I Flunked The Solipsism Final [Today's News Poem, November 30, 2010]
I almost jumped the dorm to prove my body's form
Was weaker than conviction.
I screamed at vodka swirls—a room of flirty girls.
I tried to teach them solipsism
Was more than acid trips or subtle bait for lips.
I'd die a virgin king like Jesus Christos
And scare them off the booze forever, while I'd lose
The life I swore I would destroy to prove the theory:
Nothing's real but mind itself. And life? Unkind
And dream, with spirits feigning human feeling.
Stronger than a will to live, I jumped the sill.
"I want to die," I kept repeating.
Angels never look at those they've cursed with books
And never stay the slaughter.
Those daughters wanted husbands, not a man:
They left me where I'd surely leap my faith
To death to prove exactly nothingness.
You pulled me off the fourth floor precipice
And wiped the vomit off my face—you used your shirt.
"I want to die," I kept repeating. "So do I,"
You said, "but don't."
"A student armed with a handgun held 23 other students and a teacher hostage for several hours on Monday before shooting himself at a high school in Marinette, Wis., which borders the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, the authorities said."
—MONICA DAVEY, The New York Times, November 29, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/30/us/30hostage.html
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