A Found Twitter Mad Libs Photo Essay [Parlor game: add your own quips in comments]

A Found Twitter Mad Libs Photo Essay [Parlor game: add your own quips in comments]

 Blah blah blah.

Bob Lablaw.

Blah blah blah.

Bob Lablaw.

Etc.

Jeff Chon is actually a good poet. The picture sez it all: read his writing here: http://jeffchon.blogspot.com



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Rutherford Toady is a talented fucker: new sketches on The Carrion Call

http://carrioncall.blogspot.com

But don't be too jealous. That much talent drives a man insane.



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Spit Roast the Right Sacrificial King and QUEEN [Twitter Found Poem April 12, 2010]

Spit Roast the Right Sacrificial King and QUEEN [Twitter Found Poem April 12, 2010]

Re: TheDrude charyl maxwas kaThkaThCSBD RodneyRikai yukolive HypeBeast101 JeorgIAm CallMeLo EPITOME22 Nawarah89 Pecor DGRNX bigfatphoenix x3MrsBieber dinaislegit PrettyWings94 Kimmehkins SeIGomezBabe alfredquinn bingofuel GiLLTeRaTi SelenaGomezCrew justinbieber therealdarkboi kelliyo StopBieberHack Tzion uvtrick xcompr Anjosie hannahrochelle

Woke up dreaming of city filling up with undead
your best solution is to set Justin Bieber on fire.
His only goal in life is to swallow enough cum
so that he can impregnate women
by sharting up their pussholes

OMG OMG OMG
I fear and have continuous nightmares about #selenagomez
I'm gonna give her a lobotomy! Lol.
Every time she talks I get stupider.
the energy drained from brains of really slow ppl
fills heir bank account !!!

blame Quetzalcoatl, Zeus and Spiderman.
fucking skanks get stupider and stupider these days.
the gift that keeps on giving?
spit roast the right sacrificial King and QUEEN
& i believe that God will forgive &
give us a chance to make things right.
we should start saving the MotherEarth from further harm.
Eat celebrities



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Fright or Flight [News Poem, April 11, 2010]

Fright or Flight [News Poem, April 11, 2010]
“Lech Kaczynski... was a firm backer of U.S.-led attempts to expand the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, which he saw as a bulwark against Russia's attempts to reassert influence in the region. He sought to strengthen Poland's position against Russia and Germany, its powerful historical foes to east and west”
–Marc Champion and James Marson, Wall Street Journal, APRIL 11, 2010, 12:18 P.M. ET
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304168004575177943816071322.html?mod=WSJ_latestheadlines
“Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovich has scrapped a state body set up to oversee the country's eventual accession to NATO"
--Reuters,April 6, 2010 6:09 a.m. ET
http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2010/04/06/world/international-uk-ukraine-nato.html
“Back in 2005, the last time angry crowds toppled the government of Kyrgyzstan, the United States found itself in an awkward position: among the rallying cries was an allegation that the ruling family had benefited handsomely from Pentagon contracts. Now, substantially the same thing appears to be happening again.”
-Andrew E. Kramer, The New York Times, Published: April 11, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/world/asia/12manas.html
“About 1,300 U.S. troops have been stuck at the Manas airfield in Kyrgyzstan because of the civil unrest there. ”
--Barbara Starr, CNN, April 10, 2010 5:04 p.m. EDT
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/04/10/kyrgyzstan.us.troops/
“Construction has commenced on the 1,224 km Nord Stream Natural Gas pipeline, which will link Russian natural gas reserves to Europe. “Our pipeline will provide a direct link from here to Germany’s Baltic coast and from there on to gas consumers right across Europe,” said Nord Stream Managing Director Matthias Warnig.”
--Pipelines International, Mon, 12 April 2010
http://pipelinesinternational.com/news/nord_stream_construction_commences/040074/

Conviction's sight will often fix
Ahead, behind, but rarely fore.
The animal inside us tricks
And thwarts our guile. We thus ignore
The panicked pump inside our brain
That throttles intellect asleep.
Before we step onto a train
Or through a crowd, it's smothered deep
Within a narrative of calm—
That we may carry-on with life.
Routines and plans are both the balms
For fight or flight. The world is rife
With airplane trips that sometimes crash
And brazen bones that burned to ash.



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Dying Inside [Twitter Found Poem April 11, 2010]

Dying Inside [Twitter Found Poem April 11, 2010]

PSchammy tomjeltsch wilw ChelleB1217 hellolittlelove Msz_Dallas Daboyis2fly WeAllSupportJB NancyDenofio ARTweestic LBrown0824 outofshell apemanb elasticfate DEVORA_XL martinfernandes TrapMisses202 AmberCanFlyy areofilm dahuntsr

Ima Hustla...I Can Sell Salt To A Slug.
It's the perfect weather for curling up
and dying haha

A CHILD BURIED TODAY
can save a dollar tomorrow
or 1 million years from now!

Off to work! Gotta make that money!
The Lord will perFECT that which concerns me

i'm hoarding... eleventybillion dollar
a day for the rest of my life
We are all interested in the future
Shamanic studies & doing nothing

i'm Buried Alive
I'm not the lucky kinda that get weekends off!
running hot, whirring away
Hope its faster then yesterday!
ONE TIME can never get old,
I'm definitely dying inside right now.
Silly Twitter
Sailing to Byzantium is for chumps.





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The Fifty Percent Rule [Today's News Poem, April 10, 2010]

The Fifty Percent Rule [Today's News Poem, April 10, 2010]

"An aging Russian airliner carrying Polish President Lech Kaczynski and members of his country's military, political and church elites crashed in thick fog Saturday as it took them to a ceremony marking the 70th anniversary of the slaughter of thousands of Polish military officers by Soviet secret police."
--VICTORIA BURAVCHENKO and MONIKA SCISLOWSKA , Apr 10, 3:49 PM EDT
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_RUSSIA_PLANE_CRASH?SITE=KVUE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

If half of human works is made of will
The other half is made of nature—fate.
If Machiavelli's laughter sounds too shrill,
Remember--Mani's words will not abate
The sting of plans that fail and fall apart
Nor tell where goodness ends and evil starts.



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Beyond Comprehension of Ordinary Men [Twitter Found Poem, April 10, 2010]

Beyond Comprehension of Ordinary Men [Twitter Found Poem, April 10, 2010]

Re: Webimpulse The12Apostles joskidiesel adamndut johnnyA99 akatetime pooper333 Ivan_Kwan lovey_cakes OrneryDictator Shoq dandelionfuzz papalockett davidbmetcalfe papalockett cmoney8311 ThaDaywalka mrdlindsey mslperry ashbash513

Bieber set his face on fire today
I won't be surprised if he strips that skin and cries
“Spread global warming
I am Dragons”

I won't be surprised
if you let fear take over your dreams
and you wake up sober.

We are all hungry
Pol Pot was a history teacher
Hitler was a vegetarian painter
but no one wants to go get anything cuz we are all lazy

I am so into Temptation treats.
I can eat those crying babies next to me...
Really...35 children are enough.

Who cares about those children?
I think it's more important that I'm able to eat.
I cares about games
the Mating of Dragons
Pol Pot Hitler Abortion global warming
food and sex

let fear take over your dreams
Spread global warming
think about food and sex
If you not suckin n fuckin den bye!!!!





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Choose Misanthropy [Found Poem on Twitter, April 9, 2010]

Choose Misanthropy, [Found Poem on Twitter, April 9, 2010]

Re: HBarryZimmerman ranyamanivannan huffingtonpost BarkingUnicorn husky13836 Dionysuz Wood_Thrush mupone Juanburgandy mupone jaybritt raiiney

they say happiness is the best revenge.
But since Chris Rock talks health care reform
But since you can't get laid
in a ballpark toilet stall on Opening Day
( There is no experience more sublime than cupping
another man's nutsack in one's own trembling hands)
and catch a virtual std
But since I am a miserable wench

Choose silence
Choose success and world domination.
I haven't drunk or got laid all week.
Tomorrow night after the meet im wilding the fuck out.
LET PEOPLE DIE



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Demob? Crazy! [Today's News Poem, April 9, 2010]

Demob? Crazy! [Today's News Poem, April 9, 2010]
“The acting head of the government, Roza Otunbayeva, said at a news conference that the president, Kurmanbek S. Bakiyev, had been offered safe passage into exile if he agreed to step down... Mr. Bakiyev, who fled to the south of the country on Wednesday, has refused to give up power and has made vague threats about trying to re-establish his authority... As many as 75 people were killed and more than 400 were wounded when riot police officers opened fire on antigovernment demonstrators here on Wednesday, provoking a violent backlash that left many of those same police officers bloodied and running for their lives. Protesters burned and looted government buildings and businesses, and President Bakiyev was forced to flee.”
-Michael Schwartz, The New York Times, April 9, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/10/world/europe/10kyrgyz.html?src=mv

If titles are irrelevant
Why bother saying 'Presidents?'
Must blind men fondle elephants
To hear the charge and resonance
Of feet that bear the mass of fate?
And why would they waste time with chat?
Enumerate the style and gait
Of that which seeks to crush them flat?
The early humans nearly died
Before they took to spear and axe—
Before they learned to hunt in prides,
They fled from beasts and wild attacks.
When prey evolves from tribe to mob
Then riot gear cannot defeat
What's otherwise dismissed by snobs.
The rioters must eat elites.



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Explosive Monochrome [News Poem, April 8, 2010]

Explosive Monochrome [News Poem, April 8, 2010]
“We had a guy shooting... and now he's behind the building.”
“Uh, negative, he was, uh, right in front of the brad. Uh, 'bout there... one o'clock. Haven't seen anything since then.”
“Just fuck it. Once you get on 'em just open 'em up.” [4:34 LISTEN, transcription's wrong]
“I see your element, uh, got about four Humvees, uh, out along this uh—”
“You're clear.”
“All right. Firing.”
“Let me know when you get them.”
“Let's shoot.”
“Light 'em all up.”
“Come on. Fire!”
4:22-4:51
“Well it's their fault for bringing their kids to a battle.”
“That's right.”
15:29-15:33

http://www.collateralmurder.com/
http://wikileaks.org

With monochrome eyeballs the whirlybird watches
And likewise we're fixed on the ignorant target;
And both of us think of the black and white movies—
Those cellulose nitrates, those obsolete pictures
Of characters featuring colorless faces,
Of subjects long dead and the lingering stigma
Of monochrome colors in digitized footage:
The murder, it plays out like X-Box Three Sixty.



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Iamb, Pyrrhic, Trochee, Iamb, Pyrrhic, Trochee

That's the metrical scheme for today's news poem. Working on it now.



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Bread and Circuses [Found Poem on Twitter, April 8, 2010]

Bread and Circuses [Found Poem on Twitter, April 8, 2010]

FINGUZ_BEATSOTS sarahntastic fhlug88 Mistressandi Clifsoulo MAS_is_more Buzzzown ProudToBLoud danforthfrance NoelSheppard SKANKYfranky asianxtmp MetaphOracly biofeed davidmackkabuki darsenovski RAPSTARPROMO BtingenVaEstate @LiberalWhoppers Oliviamunn Meggiemoo71 fertilefeminism kiimmiilynn melodybell AFRNGroup randallross822 @darrenhayes WofaiJE MichelleColfax Principled NaniBabyy em29me onesm00thprince

Imagine a world without Liberals...
Imagine Whirled Peace without Liberals...
There would be no Anti-American propaganda
low calori Debbi Does Dinner
no Caramel with sweet cream, choc peace signs and toffee YUM!
no Fried chicken filled donuts.
Only in America can one person fuck up in a week
what took a lifetime to build.
an on-line real estate community circus.
Know what I say about this circus?
Fuck it. Boycott it.

PRAISED George W. Bush. I kid you not!!!
How can one person fuck up in a week
what took a lifetime to build?
a lifetime and fifteen seconds?

http://www.wikileaks.org/ videogame
or reality? someone got confused...
I'm at a loss as well.
how much stress can one person take before they break down?
I’m out of Protection against EVIL.
This issue is a pet peeve with me
be anti-maternity leave
be pro-murder.
a good amount: the death toll is estimated at just around 100k,

How can one be anti-maternity leave?
I don't have to PRETEND I'm pro-murder
That's my final answer... LOL
collateral damage and suicide bombs
Fried chicken filled donuts.
an on-line real estate community circus.
I am against fucking

Life's a chess game
slaughter day is looming.
my ancient Chinese secret is these muthafukkas can fry some
collateral damage lol
and suicide bombs
They/Me/we are GOING DOWN!!!



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Flak Jacket [Top Post of Yesterday's Guest News Poem by R. Toady, April 8, 2010]

Flak Jacket
By Rutherford Toady
http://carrioncall.blogspot.com

He walks swiftly, balancing
An unopened Can of Pepsi
On his clipboard until it topples off,
Thunks to the sidewalk.

He bends over, picks it up
And wordlessly sets it back on the board,

Clamping the dented can beneath his palm
As he darts across the street
And slips between the sliding glass doors.

Surely he must know
That the carbonation inside the can
Has become agitated, that
The can is now a bomb,
An aluminum grenade
Of volatile pop waiting
To have its pin cracked.
Surely he will take the time
To tap the top of the can
And hold it over the sink,
Pointing the spray safely away
When he flips the tab.
Surely he won't forget that.

Surely he won't take his drink
Directly into the meeting
Before opening it.
Surely today isn't the day
He decided to wear
His best, his only
Suit.

http://carrioncall.blogspot.com



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Re: Wikileaks horror and my freaking out on Twitter right after viewing it

[140 character chunks preserved w/ no editing even though I really want to]
http://www.collateralmurder.com/
http://www.wikileaks.org/

I've never seen a video that made me weep and scream at the same time. I could imagine war. It was not the footage of the killing that...
dumped adrenalin into my system (at 1am), but rather the video-game bloodlust, which I know all too well, by the soldiers. Don't you
EVER let some patriotic soldier-fuckface tell you s/he's just doing his/her duty. This is MADNESS!
This war will never end until we're all dead. I didn't fully accept it before, but now I understand that the fighting will never end.
People can understand greed and revenge. But the hypocrisy of 'heroic troops?' Madness. THIS is fire control? Badgering control until...
they've been given permission to fire? Talking over/ignoring the guy whose observations might have had them hold their fire? This is the
shit soldiers in Iraq expect us to suck their cocks for? Fuck them. A family member brought pictures of charred bodies to a Christmas.
event right after the war started and he was chuckling and showing the little kids who he killed. I thought that was fucked up, but
thought he was caught in a machine. No. This is war democracy in action. The telos is combined to kill _someone_. To see foes everywhere
We are all so dead. This madness has just escalated from Vietnam. I used to see 'nam as a separate issue. "The Vietnamese forgave us.
so will the Iraqis." There is no forgiveness here. This is unforgivable. _I_ am unforgivable. I knew it was bad, but I chose to believe
that our thugs had controls. There is no system that can survive willful attempts to game it. Whether it's the jury system or fire control.
I am too cowardly to sacrifice my life to fight this insanity. So when someone kills me later, I'll understand why. I deserve it. So do you.
I don't want to fight this shit. I just want to be left alone. But so do most people. And when we hide, evil grows. SHIT! And all I have are
my fucking poems? Poem vs Apache: "April is the cruelest month..." "Ratatatatatat"
And what the fuck are you people doing here, talking about long cat and spamming the shit out twitter? Goddamn!
Imagine if all that effort on meme generation/proliferation was spent on debunking the war. FUCK! We're so dead. There is no point doing
whatever it is that you're doing, because this shit will BOOMERANG on us and kill us. America has become too sick. No amount of poetry, no
amount of your fake-ass 'pity-me' sensitivity is going to save anything. Poets aren't the only ones to blame, really all artists who just
go along for the ride, trying to climb the social ladder--you know what to call it when Romans do it: Degenerate. When you do it though...
you're what? Fucking creative? NO! What the fuck have I been thinking? This MADNESS is the ONLY thing worth writing about.
Everything else just enables the madness. Ignoring madness makes it normative. OMG! And you fucking ninnies get mad at me when I'm being...
harsh? Look to the machine gun if you want harsh. Look to young maniacs who played wargames all their lives. Look to Twitter as you're shot
in the back by a chopper in the distance. There is no future for those who enable this horror. There is nothing for those who stay silent
and let hostile memes make people CRAZIER! WE are harsh with our narcissism. When this madness continues and people scream 'mememememe'
well, I can't help but look at it all and think we're all fucked. Every single last one of us. American and otherwise. Because you
non-Americans are too much like us. You live like us (if you're on twitter, yes, you live like us) with the same ergonomic environment.
You played wargames if you're male and you dismissed the boys' wargames as harmless if you're female. And with the computer and its fake
mediation of really everything, it takes the audio clip of mass murder to make me sick. I was not sickened by the shooting, though I should
have been, I was sickened by the way the decision to shoot was brought about and the PATHETIC justifications that I hope give those fucks
PTSD. I hope they don't kill themselves, if only to serve as zombies. Reminders of how horrible war is. I didn't believe the hippies
when I was growing up, because they were such hypocrites. So I thought war was like peace--just another natural human activity.
Now I understand that the war veteran is a signpost. A warning. Only now, one can see the war, not just its used-up ex-men/women.
I will fight against this, but I think it's too late. i thought my relative was an outlier. I didn't want to believe this was the norm.
And now that I know it's the norm, all my horrible suspicions about the world are confirmed. If anything, I was too soft. If there is a God
It's Manicheistic because the worst impulses in humanity have become the norm. Goodness is just an impulse. Evil is a propensity.



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There's Freedom in Expedience [Today's News Poem, April 7, 2010]

There's Freedom in Expedience My Child [Today's News Poem, April 7, 2010]
“...in relation to the establishment of the website http://MarkYudof.com, an art protest piece in which the artist expressed an alternate version of the future in which University of California President Mark Yudof publicly resigned his position by acknowledging that his “service as president is detrimental to the future of public education in the state of California.” ... As a direct result of the sit-in action, the University of California, San Diego’s Office of Information Technology Security shut down the bang.lab server’s access to the Internet for eight consecutive days.”
-micha, b.a.n.g. lab Letter of Support, April 7, 2010
http://bang.calit2.net/2010/04/letter-of-support-started-at-duke-university/
“cen·sor –noun 2. any person who supervises the manners or morality of others.”
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/censor
“Popular stories told of righteous censors revealing corruption as well as censors who accepted bribes.”
--Wikipedia bullshit that still makes an illustrative point
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorate
“Bottom line: The FCC can abandon its ideological pursuit of the "net neutrality" bogeyman, and get on with making the world safe for the iPad.”
--HOLMAN W. JENKINS, JR., Wall Street Journal, APRIL 7, 2010
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB20001424052702303411604575168053474388236.html

For children, drunks and other fools
It's fine to live by golden rules.
But when you age, remember dear,
Your ethics burden you with gear
You'd best abandon—else just die.
Adults don't bother with the why—
The good shall perish; niceness reigns.
The winner always learns to feign
The courage eaten foes displayed
In life (the fools who never played.
The ones who felt too much to live,
But sought to spend their lives—to give
It up—to die for abstract cause.
They beg for change with grubby paws.).
Relax, for no one cares for you
(In truth this chat was overdue)
As I, so I debunked the lie
To prick your hopes, release your sigh;
To save you from naive designs,
To save you from the cardboard sign—
The only freedom left for those
Who choose to wear their dirty clothes
And lay about in stink and dreams,
As members of the losing team.



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Before I post Today's News Poem, I have announcements:

1) When I post Today's News Poem, there will be three new posts for the day.
2) You are not hitting rtoady's site enough. He has the Toylit seal of approval, so please go there when you're done here.
3) Promotions and advert-clicks register as applause. Some of you have enough time to trawl through hundreds of posts here--surely you have time to make one last effort to show your appreciation, before leaving the site.

That's all. Enjoy the three poems.

ps: An old friend/talented writer keeps complaining that poetry's not his thing and even when he reads the news poems, he's still puzzled. Therefore, I am going to try writing 'abstracts' for each poem.

Philia: Depravity has become the norm and what was once shameful, we now champion.

Flak Jacket: You can read this as a poem about a suicide bomber, or as a more metaphorical explosion (note the artifacts mentioned in the poem... that was not accidental or for colorful language alone).

There's Freedom in Expedience My Child: Censorship starts with the self. A parent explains how abandoning good intentions for good pretenses is a survival skill.

Let me know if these abstracts were helpful. I worry they diminish the poems, but my friend is a fuckin' genius, so I'm inclined to believe he makes a valid point. Respond by e-mail or in this thread.

PPS: Toylit is accepting submissions now for antinews compositions. What is antinews? Protips: 1) Must NOT be non-fiction (Orwellian clause), journalism, or some similar expository bullshit. You have a whole world wide web for that crap. 2) Must respond to the news; either in particular (as with my News Poems) or in the abstract (as per Toady's poem & Lady Gaga piece). 3) Must be free of false consciousness. If you don't even have a notion of what that is, I don't want your submission. 4) If you have an angle--for example, the Found Poem on Twitter-- suggest it. I'll have to see that you are capable of sustaining a feature, but it's worth a shot. I want sports and entertainment writing. What kind of sports? Ever read Dan Clowes? That's my preference (don't repeat yourself). What kind of entertainment? I don't know, that crap's your job (if you want it).



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Flak Jacket [Guest News Poem, by Rutherford Toady; April 7, 2010]

Flak Jacket
By Rutherford Toady
http://carrioncall.blogspot.com

He walks swiftly, balancing
An unopened Can of Pepsi
On his clipboard until it topples off,
Thunks to the sidewalk.

He bends over, picks it up
And wordlessly sets it back on the board,

Clamping the dented can beneath his palm
As he darts across the street
And slips between the sliding glass doors.

Surely he must know
That the carbonation inside the can
Has become agitated, that
The can is now a bomb,
An aluminum grenade
Of volatile pop waiting
To have its pin cracked.
Surely he will take the time
To tap the top of the can
And hold it over the sink,
Pointing the spray safely away
When he flips the tab.
Surely he won't forget that.

Surely he won't take his drink
Directly into the meeting
Before opening it.
Surely today isn't the day
He decided to wear
His best, his only
Suit.

http://carrioncall.blogspot.com



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Philia [Twitter Found Poem, April 7, 2010]

Philia [Twitter Found Poem, April 7, 2010]
Re: crunchsports nicolablack snowandstars DiscoverMag pixel8design Aquadigio41510 that_quietstorm heartbreakchic HELLOitsRebecca eagleandrew Eloketh x_missboosie ScaryFact TiJack CORYTAYLORVA Geon4You

Every absurdity has a champion.
Sexual interest in being crawled upon
or nibbled by small insects
has a champion to defend it.

God will definitely bless necrophilia.
Tiger Woods was zipping about banging into everything Sexual
Even if you go by the 5 second rule
Even if you are not that interested anymore...
her body is still warm. A little necrophilia
never killed anyone.

I enjoy insects in art
but not dodging them
if you're into necrophilia Formicophilia
absurdity
if you're into SPECTACULARRR loool
sex
if you enjoy insects in art,
the height of absurdity in one generation
often becomes the height of wisdom in the next.



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Asleep Behind the Wheel [Today's News Poem (Sonnet), April 6, 2010]

Asleep Behind the Wheel [Today's News Poem (Sonnet), April 6, 2010]

“A former U.N envoy to Afghanistan on Tuesday questioned the "mental stability" of Hamid Karzai and suggested the Afghan president may be using drugs... "He’s prone to tirades. He can be very emotional, act impulsively. In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports," said Galbraith, in an apparent reference to opium or heroin.”
--MSNBC, 12:28 p.m. PT, Tues., April 6, 2010
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36196464/ns/world_news-south_and_central_asia/
“The United States suggested on Tuesday it might cancel a meeting between President Barack Obama and President Hamid Karzai in the White House next month if the Afghan leader persisted with anti-Western comments.”
-Sue Pleming, Reuters WASHINGTON Tue Apr 6, 2010 5:57pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6355CG20100406
“... the peak oil theory has nudged its way further into the mainstream and was widely publicized around the 2008 price spike, but it is hotly contested by many in the oil industry, including OPEC, which argues the world will rely on fossil fuels for decades to come.”
--Barbara Lewis, Reuters, Tue Apr 6, 2010 1:16pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE63539420100406

Though Hades sends his gifts to surface lands
Do not consume the produce from his realm.
The food of death—it's said—will ever brand
The eater dead in life—it overwhelms.
The poppy—face of graves—it tastes of sleep;
And blurs the act of life with one of ash.
The grave itself—a fuel that drives the creep
Of shuddering machines that dart and crash.
We cultivate the cultivars of flame
To take the edge off life's absurd attacks—
To fertilize the sorrows that we claim,
And dream a life that's lived—and yet relax
Upon a cushion on a frame of steel.
We drive, asleep in life, behind a wheel.



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Working on today's news poem... let's see some applause

If you've been enjoying Toylit lately, you can applaud the performance one of two ways: 'check out' our sponsors, or promote us. Both activities only take a moment of your time and help Toylit immensely.

I hope to wrap up the news poem in an hour or so.



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The Robot Skeleton Sidekick Car Alarm Text Alert [Found Poem on Twitter April 6, 2010]

The Robot Skeleton Sidekick Car Alarm Text Alert [Found Poem on Twitter April 6, 2010]

Re: JimRohnQuotes GrandMaster_Ash Laraklur agatthaBrittan @MarvSpelledDiff VivaLaDUN sortofcyrus @sortofdemi SenseiJack RT @idwdesign Chonnymo Janell19 ZdaDIVa msr2009 NiecyR TxtVoxRingtone corrttnnaayy wearethebrits AndrewTNelson She_G4EllE bikable becca7903 jannajoyce max_mark ToldYouuu deathaponstars Foulmouthed69 @jenfortnam macman778 Kdidd @maxhencke erannorton DannyMikos craziechick91

Dear Trees and Plants:
FUCKING DIE PLEASE! DIE DIE DIE!
robot love..... is, apparently, something of a tradition
I love cars, but hate
Trees and Plants.
I am sneezing
I want have asthma attack
Before i die.... Explain:
I am allergic to something.
sunlight.
me car is cover in it!!!

Text Alert: The robot skeleton sidekick Car Alarm
running down the street, smashing
Trees and Plants
(I have allergies.)
fucks my way to the top,
fucks Trees and Plants
fucks maple syrup.
Trees and Plants: sloppy fucks

the car is hot as fuck
I have to fuck my way to the top,
I have to fuck da shit outta dat robot
burn Trees and Plants
fucks Trees and Plants
If rain was maple syrup i'd
still burn Trees and Plants
and leave a trail of burn books
Leave Earth and all this misery
and Launch Robotic Winged Space Plane
for a cosmic world
CLICK !!!




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Ah Phailure to Literacify Part II: re: "What Men Want"

So Scott Roeder was in the news again and I thought it was a good idea to post 'What Men Want' on all the knee-jerk blogs. It cracked me up that some read it as an anti-abortion poem almost as much as it did when people read it as a pro-abortion poem. It's astonishing that these functionally illiterate zombies actually maintain websites. If I was functionally illiterate, I'd do everything in my power to hide it.

Since I am the enemy of morons, I figured I'd post the exchange w/ an example with a classic case: Kevin Evans. You can reach him at: kebmebms@gmail.com and let him know what you think. Or you could just go and remind him what a chicken he is by posting unflattering comments on his site... for him to delete. Don't forget to save your comments first! And post them here. You may use this thread to write about the insanity of dealing with freaks who can write, but can't read. For me, in that regard, the internet is a kind of hell. Or just a reminder of how many zombies walk amongst us.

The last line is just too precious. I think you'll get a chortle from it.

Oops, forgot to add the website: http://moravings.blogspot.com/2010/04/scott-roeders-sentencing-todayheres.html

It's fuckin' hilarious that the guy spent more effort writing a response than he did to actually writing his post. Why do people who suck get so defensive about it? Just play a different game, dummy.

"Ah, intellectual cowardice to match intellectual weakness.

Here's a question: how do you reconcile that word with the STANZAS that precede it?

Answer? You don't. You are sub-literate.

This response is going on Toylit now as well as Combatwords. I will never understand why the sub-literates of the world feel such a burning desire to write.

Lol!

-KW

On Tue, Apr 6, 2010 at 12:44 PM, Kevin Evans wrote:

Mr. Wessington,

I'd have gladly posted your last note but you referred to a woman or women in general as sluts. I don't do hate language and I don't reduce whole groups of people to other, ugly ones. I don't allow hate speech on my blog. If censorship is for cowards, in your eyes, so be it. I'm happy to have anyone and everyone read my blog and reply but I don't and won't allow ugliness on it. I'm sure you have your rules. That is virtually my only one.

ke

On Tue, Apr 6, 2010 at 2:35 PM, Khakjaan Wessington wrote:

Khakjaan Wessington has left a new comment on your post "Scott Roeder's sentencing today:here's hoping":

Thanks for reading, but your close-reading skills need some work. I put some bait in there to help identify the less sophisticated readers. Looks like you took the hook, line and sinker.

Consider that you are so dogmatically positioned, that you are unwilling to see that the poem opposes both your reading and your response to it.

Also, censorship is for cowards, who lack faith in the power of their own words to rebut an opposing posit. Keep that in mind when you consider deleting this follow-up.

Publish this comment.

Reject this comment.

Moderate comments for this blog.

Posted by Khakjaan Wessington to Mo Rage at April 6, 2010 12:35 PM




--
http://moravings.blogspot.com
http://kcphotogblog.blogspot.com

And the thread itself:

5 comments:

Khakjaan Wessington said...

What Men Want
http://toylit.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-men-want-todays-news-poem-jan-29.html
"My honest belief was that if I didn't do something they would continue to die."
-Scott Roeder

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE60S4UB20100129

The ancient women, wise with feral ways,
Passed matrilineal traditions down
From ape to human—knowing men could slay,
With lust, their daughters. Deaths wore bridal gowns

Before connubial beds became their graves
So brewing remedies these mothers saved
All humankind. Resentful, men thought slaves
Were made of them. He mastered war and raved

Against his mother—burning her to ash.
Denounced as midwife: now we call her witch.
Their wives and daughters—mothers died—the clash
Of sexes won. Thus Woman, made a 'bitch,'

To breed and grieve perhaps before the next.
The men would prise the fruit, more sons, from wombs
That rarely lasted forty years. But text
Reflected changing norms. In time, this grooms

A kinder sort of man who seeks a peer—
If only theoretically. Rights,
If slowly, catch the rhetoric—so dear
To many—bringing new and awful blights.

I think I know this killer's thoughts, this guy
Who shot that Kansas doc. He felt betrayed
By fellow man: resolved to make him die
And eased his guilt with Bible quotes. Unswayed,

The jury found enough to lock him up.
A shame, because a woman now, receives
In joy or rage a life from carnal tup
That soon awaits abortionist's coarse sieves;

Because she knows she really wants what men
Desire. To lust and grow and kill and feel—
Not nothing—just flushing. She wants what men
Desire: to fuck and kill and never heal;

To harvest death for medicines and soups
Or trashed in plastic bags in cans on stoops.
http://toylit.blogspot.com
April 1, 2010 2:12 PM
PFL0W said...

I publish this last comment with some trepidation.

Actually, what I think women want--if I may be so bold as to conjecture--is to do what's right with their bodies, and for their child, man's interference be damned.

mr
April 1, 2010 7:25 PM
PFL0W said...

to think that women want "To lust and grow and kill and feel—Not nothing—just flushing. She wants what men
Desire: to fuck and kill and never heal;"

is pure bullshit.

If anyone feels, it's the woman.

This is so typically a man's assumption of what a woman wants.

Nonsense.

mr
April 1, 2010 7:27 PM
Khakjaan Wessington said...

Thanks for reading, but your close-reading skills need some work. I put some bait in there to help identify the less sophisticated readers. Looks like you took the hook, line and sinker.

Consider that you are so dogmatically positioned, that you are unwilling to see that the poem opposes both your reading and your response to it.

Also, censorship is for cowards, who lack faith in the power of their own words to rebut an opposing posit. Keep that in mind when you consider deleting this follow-up.
April 6, 2010 12:35 PM
PFL0W said...

a) I didn't censor this;

b) I censored you earlier because you spoke ugly and ill-meaning of women. Ugliness and hate speech is the only thing I will not/do not allow in repsonses.

As I wrote to you earlier: I'd have gladly posted your last note but you referred to a woman or women in general as sluts. I don't do hate language and I don't reduce whole groups of people to other, ugly ones. I don't allow hate speech on my blog. If censorship is for cowards, in your eyes, so be it. I'm happy to have anyone and everyone read my blog and reply but I don't and won't allow ugliness on it. I'm sure you have your rules. That is virtually my only one.

I'm not so dogmatic, as you say, in that I don't require that anyone else think as I do. If you have a different opinion, so be it. If it's different than mine on abortion, I'll tell you you're wrong and leave it at that.

Censorship can, in fact, be for cowards, as you say, but that's not why I censor. I only censor so ugliness isn't distributed freely, at least not here. I leave that for the Fox "News" Network and their followers.

You need to learn better English. You aren't clear, frequently, with your writing.

mr"




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Inherit the Dirt [Today's News Poem, April 5, 2010]

Inherit the Dirt [Today's News Poem, April 5, 2010]
“Tiger Woods opened Masters week with a news conference unlike any other Monday - from his apology to fellow PGA Tour players to fielding questions on topics ranging from his infamous one-vehicle accident Nov. 27 to his treatment by controversial Canadian doctor Anthony Galea.”
Ron Kroichick, Chronicle Staff WriterMonday, April 5, 2010
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/04/05/SPDB1CPVR7.DTL
“My younger son wanted to take AP U.S. history. I assumed that, like Garfield, the school would welcome anyone with the gumption to take such a hard course. Instead, he was told he could get in if he passed an entrance test. Once again I was in a land ruled by sorting, not teaching.”
-Jay Mathews, Washington Post, April 4, 2010
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/class-struggle/2010/04/unlike_many_escalante_believed.html
“After concerns about cheating came to light in 2005, the TEA hired Caveon Test Security, which found that cheating may have taken place at 609 schools that spring. Among the problems, an investigation in Fort Worth revealed that two teachers may have provided students answers at A.M. Pate Elementary School.”
--JESSAMY BROWN, Star-Telegram, Saturday, Apr. 03, 2010
http://www.star-telegram.com/2010/04/03/2087824/in-d-fw-and-statewide-better-policing.html
“The artists allege Mr Gant breached the Fair Trading Act by preparing valuations and sale documents for the works, which implied they were authentic.”
--KATE HAGAN, The Age.com, March 25, 2010
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/buyer-of-fake-art-admits-to-naivety-20100324-qws0.html
“But there is a flip side. It's more thrilling to be on the outskirts of society. There's an element of danger.”
--Op-Art | Lauren Redniss, April 5, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/04/05/opinion/05opart_redniss.html?hp
http://kalman.blogs.nytimes.com/

The nice shall finish last.
They shall inherit squat.
They shall eat shit and die.

The everyman's a chump—
Invites his every thump—
Who gives a shit? Who dumps
Confetti? Pats his rump
And says, 'good job?' The trump?

The villains play the cast;
As heroes, foes—the plot
Is always fixed. Bad guys

Can't stand to win unless
They're seen as noble sorts:
Can't stand the hate and stress
It brings. They fake comport
Themselves as those they screwed:
The everyman—the dude
Who works to death to pay
For jerks who hate his ways—
But want his virtue-haze.



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