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Saturday, April 24, 2010

Satan! Bring Me Dinner! [Twitter Found Poem, April 24, 2010]

Satan! Bring Me Dinner! [Twitter Found Poem, April 24, 2010]

Tweets+Edits= #twitterfoundpoem
Re: mousewords MonsieurObscure shyposter1 NatchanFoto Julezmc55 AnAmPatriot toyathestar _heyitsgunnar_ Loreinna __bombSHELL iammsparker ezstreet JJKingpin freddiebtv Our_Voices JDior_ padarnalat n0tt000bs3ss3d LilMissToni26 MissingMimi

“i would die for you!!”
Not to be too cynical, but I think it's all spin & BS...
Oh well- I intend to make full use of it!
Armed with knowledge, all I need now is an executable plan.

#instantturnons U LOVE TO COOK...
#lovingyou has been a sweet dream & a beautiful nightmare
because you can cook only one meal time?
Like breakfast only?
#instantturnoffs
don't Lol At me
you WANT TO HEAR BOTH SIDES?
I TALK TO SATAN
i would live for SATAN
but i would die for you!!
you!! make me WANT
to die because of you!!
ALL I WANT is some goddamn BBQ!!
fuck breakfast
WHAT THE fuck is THE DEAL?
I can cook my Own fucking eggs!!
i would sell my soul for some fucking dinner !

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2 comments:

Obsidian Eagle (ItzQuauhtli) said...

Hahaha, an excellent compendium. The central theme of cooking turn-ons / turn-offs tied it all together rather well.

Thank you for your constructive critique on "Epi-Epi" - it's rare to find someone who'll actually offer something positive other than praise. I agree with your comments, I had felt it a shame that the ice metaphor didn't go to fuller use and also that the whole piece could do with another two stanzas. Of course, that poem is a playful one so I will eventually revise it for sure. BTW - Did you catch the audio version? It helps pick up the slack.

Cheers!

Khakjaan Wessington said...

I didn't catch the audio version, I'll make an effort in the future.

I'm not sure if the piece needs more stanzas, or fewer. It seems like you could remove a few symbols and just concentrate on ice, drugs & (everybody's favorite) authority. I think it would make your satire sharper.

FYI, if others want to read ObEag go here: http://www.obsidianeagle.com/

The poem we're discussing is here: http://www.obsidianeagle.com/2010/04/epigrammatic-epitaph.html