Thoughts on Poetry (Reposted from Twitter)

How to fake a poem: 1) Remove prepositions 2) Adjective as verb or noun 3) Sex that shit up 4) End on a pointless, but sweet image.

Objective signs of shit-ass verse: 1) Tries metrical schema & fails 2) Tries rhyming & fails 3) Symbolism is nonsensical 4) Narrative is nonsensical 5) Removing the linebreaks yields poorly written prose 6) Can be summarized in fewer words than the poem 7) Repetitious symbolism 8) Repetitious vocab 9) Incomplete thoughts 10) Incoherent thoughts

Violence against women is bad:


Violence against jackasses is good:


Hmm, further investigation reveals that this was an idiot-on-idiot crime:


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