The Germans [Guest Twitter Found Poem, June 20, 2010 by Ryan Ridge]

The Germans [Guest Twitter Found Poem, June 20, 2010 by Ryan Ridge]
By Ryan Ridge
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Oh, and Germans.
Don't forget the Germans.
What's with the Germans?
What happened to the Germans?
What will these Germans think of next?
Are we still better than the Germans?
Are we trying to avoid the Germans?
Are we Germans in disguise?
I’m laughing at the Germans.
Hard luck for the Germans.
Upset for the Germans.
The Germans still lost!
Bury the Germans!
I feel a little silly after mocking the Germans.
I changed my mind,
I’m going out with the Germans.

Bio: Ryan Ridge writes and teaches in Southern California. Recent work has appeared, or is forthcoming, in Abjective, Corium, DIAGRAM, elimae, Fact-Simile, JMWW, The Los Angeles Review, and elsewhere. He maintains an archive of past work here. http://pastwork-ridge.blogspot.com/
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Spaghetti Oh Hell No [Guest News Poem, June 20, 2010, by Misti Rainwater-Lites]

Spaghetti Oh Hell No [Guest News Poem, June 20, 2010]
Misti Rainwater-Lites

not enough to deal with
the poverty
the ungodly ennui
the loss of bone marrow deep love on aisle three
oil! toxic! all over the fucking ocean!
the one near my mama's house!
Lindsay Lohan's diseased cunt is worth more
than my spirit, the one I weep daily
from my pretty bluebonnet eyes
and the miraculous births
of retarded Siamese twins
like the sea levels
are on the fucking rise

no, not enough shit on paper plate
so Campbell Soup Company comes in
like Doo Doo Dragon of the Apocalypse
to sing song this terrible news
from dipshit rah rah mega phone:

15 MILLION POUNDS of SpaghettiOs
recalled due to malfunctioning meatball cooker
in Paris, Texas

the alphabet SpaghettiOs are the only education
some toddlers receive
not counting "Dinosaur Train" and "Dora The Explorer"
because suburban soccer mommies
are busy getting mani pedis
and sucking plumber cock
while entry level call center peon daddies
field phone calls from customers pissy about
astronomical cell phone bills
and Lady GaGa ring tones

last night I dreamed I was swimming
in Sinhalese SpaghettiOs with Richard Dreyfuss
he didn't judge me for the raw chunks of meat
so show offy orange in my salty strands of hair
he fucked me multisyllabic
as America burned to a crisp in a microwave
like a 99 cent Totino's pizza...

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127937263

To read more Misti Rainwater-Lites, go to http://ubiquitousdandelion.blogspot.com
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Pronounced Model Land [Guest News Poem Reprint from May 11, 2010, by Misti Rainwater-Lites]

Pronounced Model Land [Guest News Poem Reprint from May 11, 2010, by Misti Rainwater-Lites]
Misti Rainwater-Lites

Tyra Banks, fairy godpimp
to many a wannabe Gisele Bunchen,
is a literary genius, poised to take
the world by storm with Modelland.
In Modelland the boys and girls
shit strawberry fat free ice cream
and there is no unrequited love
or mediocre hair days. Everyone
is, like, totally hot and all the skyscrapers
are mirrored and the cotton candy clouds
only rain confetti and lingerie.
Choo choo. All aboard for Modelland.
Make me a believer, make this size fourteen
Texas baby mama believe
that such a place exists
and there is room at the inn for me.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/books/05/11/Tyra.banks.book.ppl/index.html?hpt=Sbin

To read more Misti Rainwater-Lites, go to http://ubiquitousdandelion.blogspot.com

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Man vs. Food [Guest Twitter Found Poem Reprint, June 14, 2010 by Ryan Ridge]

Man vs. Food [Guest Twitter Found Poem Reprint, June 14, 2010 by Ryan Ridge]
By Ryan Ridge
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

My chicken scratch
is like decoding a serial killer's
rambling manifesto.
After they read my Chicken Manifesto
they will violently revolt.
Man vs. Food is simultaneously
inspiring and revolting.
Man vs. Food is my future calling.
I think my future wife
just prank called me.
I think I’m very drunk.
I think I see smoke.
I think food will be the death of me
someday.


Bio: Ryan Ridge writes and teaches in Southern California. Recent work has appeared, or is forthcoming, in Abjective, Corium, DIAGRAM, elimae, Fact-Simile, JMWW, The Los Angeles Review, and elsewhere. He maintains an archive of past work here. http://pastwork-ridge.blogspot.com/

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Swaddle the Parents [Today's News Poem, June 20, 2010]

Swaddle the Parents [Today's News Poem, June 20, 2010]

You swaddled me once and you held me by starlight.
We traveled the wilderness, searching for spirits
To guide us away from anxiety's prison.
The animals: hungrier, bigger, or sharper;
Had chased us through vines through the tendrils of bushes.
By plague and mosquito they pecked at your bodies,
And drained you of life on savannah, my mothers!
My fathers each died in succession from causes
That vary from age, to starvation and murder.
The custody battles have strengthened my flaring
From sparks in a pocket, to clouds in the distance—
Majority proven in mushroom infernos.
My parents, you're weary. Your struggles are finished.
I've made you a bed and you're covered with blankets.
The teevee is playing, the morphine is dripping.
You'll sleep in my arms and you never shall perish.

“In what can be termed as the nation’s fastest growing drug problem, a new report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reveals a rapid spurt in fatalities resulting from the abuse of prescription pain drugs.”
– Neka Sehgal, The Money Times, June 20, 2010
http://www.themoneytimes.com/featured/20100620/cdc-statistics-reveal-misuse-prescription-pain-drugs-111-4-years-id-10118140.html



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Punch Da Shyt Outta Fruity Logic [Twitter Found Poem, June 20, 2010]

Punch Da Shyt Outta Fruity Logic [Twitter Found Poem, June 20, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

At some point in your life
you either have the thing you want
or the reasons why you are
too legit to quit.

I used to be legit
but now I'm not legit.
so you need a motivational tool??
Imma punch da shyt outta you.

AHHHH WHY DO U CHOOSE TO USE
FRUITY LOGIC?? There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough failure.
punch da shyt outta Life.
Life requires thorough preparation??
bullshit!!!!!!!!
thorough preparation is for short asz babies.
Life requires thorough malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander .
Life requires U punch da shyt outta Life.
celebrate it
or quit it.

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