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Tuesday, June 04, 2024

Buy 6 Months of Gestation

Here is the corrected and updated link.





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Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Machine learning training data licensing fee, per scrape/access/archival of my writing $10,000,000. By reading/accessing, you agree to be bound by these terms.

Machine learning training data licensing fee, per scrape/access/archival of my writing $10,000,000. By reading/accessing, you agree to be bound by these terms.

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Sunday, March 26, 2023

Friday, April 12, 2013

Black Swan [April 12, 2013]

Black Swan [April 12, 2013]

Hedge against the breadth of sell,
sell-off, will, expectation that meteoric
may be coming to an end of gains,
relentless selling, gold, for the first time
since the market.

“While gold is often used as a hedge against inflation the breadth of the recent sell sell-off will underline some expectations that gold's meteoric rally may be coming to an end after 12 years of gains.
The relentless selling sent gold below $1,500 an ounce for the first time since July 2011, and put the market on track for its worst weekly performance since December 2011.
—Svea Herbst-Bayliss and Matthew Goldstein, Reuters, BOSTON/NEW YORK | Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:35pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/04/12/us-markets-global-idUSBRE88901C20130412





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Friday, April 05, 2013

North Korean Suicide Biography [April 5, 2013]

North Korean Suicide Biography [April 5, 2013]

The Wise have no friend
Save the truth, martyred.
Save you a martyr, gain
A tyrant. Monks self-ignite
Because they cannot bear harm
Beyond their self-usurpation.
Korea is myself;
I set myself afire.

“Saying he spoke as a friend, Castro wrote in Cuban state media that North Korea, led by 30-year-old Kim Jong-un, had shown the world its technical prowess and now it was time to remember its duties to others.”
—Jeff Franks, Reuters, HAVANA | Fri Apr 5, 2013 12:02pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/04/05/us-korea-north-castro-idUSBRE9340ML20130405



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Friday, March 29, 2013

Inner Report [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, March 29, 2013]

Inner Report [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, March 29, 2013]

Global income from inner gradation
Is everything, minus a few hundred billion dollars.
Almost all the world's expenses are degradations
And you need a report?

“The cost of environmental degradation in China was about $230 billion in 2010, or 3.5 percent of the nation’s gross domestic product — three times that in 2004, in local currency terms, an official Chinese news report said this week.”
—EDWARD WONG, The New York Times, Published: March 29, 2013
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/30/world/asia/cost-of-environmental-degradation-in-china-is-growing.html?hp




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Friday, March 22, 2013

Voyager 1 [Week's News Poem, March 22, 2013]

Voyager 1 [Week's News Poem, March 22, 2013]

Artifacts slung possess
the night
catches artifice.

“Voyager 1, launched in 1977 to explore the outer planets, has passed into a new region on its way out of the solar system, scientists said on Wednesday.

The spacecraft, now more than 11 billion miles (18 billion km) away, detected two distinct and related changes in its environment on August 25, 2012, scientists write in paper to be published in Geophysical Research Letters and emailed to Reuters on Wednesday.”
—Irene Klotz, Reuters, CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida | Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:18pm EDT

“Closer scrutiny of radiation left over from the creation of the universe shows the Big Bang took place about 13.8 billion years ago, 100 million years earlier than previous estimates, scientists said on Thursday.
The findings are among the first results from analysis of data collected by the European Space Agency's Planck spacecraft, which is providing the most detailed look to date at the remnant microwave radiation that permeates the universe.”
—Irene Klotz, Reuters, CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida | Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:11pm EDT


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Saturday, March 16, 2013

Rick Ross, Lil Wayne NEED-to respect Harlem Shake #TwitterFoundPoem

Rick Ross, Lil Wayne NEED-to respect Harlem Shake #TwitterFoundPoem
Tweets+Edits= #TwitterFoundPoem


Lemme tell you something #writeclub:
eat ice cream and use the sugar ...
its an inspiring Harlem Shake.
You going to eat ice cream and use the sugar
to get You sprinting fast again?
you get fatter.
if you watch Harlem Shake Lil Wayne,
puts all he has into doing a new dance correctly.
get thinner.
It's "seizure" not "caesar."
You NEED-to respect an artist
puts all he has into an inspiring caesura: Harlem Shake in wet T-shirt/ Broken Teeth ,
Unconscious Like delete, CPR After Seizure:
Rapper Rick Ross inspiring Lil Wayne
inspiring Harlem Shake.
don't talk about #writeclub
It's not "seizure" not "caesar."
It's an inspiring caesura: Unconscious Like delete.



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Friday, March 08, 2013

Prehistoric Prayer [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, March 8, 2013]

Prehistoric Prayer [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, March 8, 2013]

For every one of us you eat,
ten of you shall be caged,
even if we must cage the sun.

“The African lion that killed a California wildlife sanctuary worker had slipped out of its holding pen, which apparently was left improperly secured, and crept up on the woman inside a larger enclosure to attack her, the coroner said on Friday.”
—Laila Kearney, Reuters, SAN FRANCISCO | Fri Mar 8, 2013 4:40pm EST



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Friday, March 01, 2013

Jedi Mind Meld [Week's News Poem, March 1, 2013]

Jedi Mind Meld [Week's News Poem, March 1, 2013]

Sage of the week seeks unique yet oblique
Resolution (obeying the Constitution) for fiscal absolution
In terse, unreherse verse. What's worse,
Apocope doesn't rhyme—nope-ey.

“President Barack Obama formally ordered broad cuts in government spending on Friday night after he and congressional Republicans failed to reach a deal to avert automatic reductions that could dampen economic growth and curb military readiness.”
—Richard Cowan and Alistair Bell, Reuters, WASHINGTON | Fri Mar 1, 2013 10:51pm EST








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Friday, February 22, 2013

Adios Amigos Del Mar [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 22, 2013]

Adios Amigos Del Mar [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 22, 2013]

Un dia con ennui, fui a mar.
Todavia todos de mis amigos estaban construyendo castillos de arenilla.
Estabamos rodeados con grasa de tortuga, marina, sol—
por eso, saqué mi pistola.
Hace treinta cinco anos desde entonces que los vi.
Es hora de terminar este duelo.




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Friday, February 15, 2013

Pandemonium Ascendent [Week's News Poem, February 15, 2013]

Pandemonium Ascendent [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 15, 2013]

God is at war with us,
Aliens exist and we
War with ourselves.

Explosion is the atheist's deity;
Cosmos, church,
Body, hell.

“A meteorite streaked across the sky and exploded over central Russia on Friday, raining fireballs over a vast area and causing a shock wave that smashed windows, damaged buildings and injured 1,200 people.”
—Andrey Kuzmin, Reuters, CHELYABINSK, Russia | Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:40pm EST


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Friday, February 08, 2013

The First Stone [Week's News Poem, February 8, 2013]

The First Stone [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 8, 2013]

American Football ballistics resemble actual:
there for the spin in accuracy at its greatest.
When the Forty Niners lost Superbowl Forty Seven,
there was no warning. There were no orders. No commands.
Just ballistics and an open fire.
Watch the ball and you'll see that the game is retaliation,
scapegoating, formation, disguised mob.

“The two women who were mistakenly shot by LAPD officers searching for triple murder suspect Christopher Dorner Thursday said they had no warning beforehand, the victims' lawyer told CBS Los Angeles. Attorney Glen Jonas said Maggie Carranza, 47, and her mother, 71-year-old Emma Hernandez, were delivering Los Angeles Times newspapers around 5:15 a.m. in Torrance when the officers opened fire on their vehicle. Jonas said, "There was no warning. There were no orders. No commands. Just gunshots."”
—CBS News, February 8, 2013, 10:25 AM
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57568368/christopher-dorner-manhunt-two-innocent-women-shot-by-lapd-officers-had-no-warning/

“In 8/07 I reported an officer (Ofcr. Teresa Evans/now a Sergeant), for kicking a suspect (excessive force) during a Use of Force while I was assigned as a patrol officer at LAPD’s Harbor Division. While cuffing the suspect, (Christopher Gettler), Evans kicked the suspect twice in the chest and once in the face. The kick to the face left a visible injury on the left cheek below the eye. Unfortunately after reporting it to supervisors and investigated by PSB (internal affairs investigator Det. Villanueva/Gallegos), nothing was done. I had broken their supposed “Blue Line”. Unfortunately, It’s not JUST US, it’s JUSTICE!!! In fact, 10 months later on 6/25/08, after already successfully completing probation, acquiring a basic Post Certificate, and Intermediate Post Certificate, I was relieved of duty by the LAPD while assigned to patrol at Southwest division. It is clear as day that the department retaliated toward me for reporting Evans for kicking Mr. Christopher Gettler.”
—Christopher Dorner's Manifesto



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Friday, February 01, 2013

Rush Hour Moses [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 1, 2013]

Rush Hour Moses [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, February 1, 2013]
Filth is his muscle
diverting the waves
of this black and white sea—
this subway station, this sea
and destination.

“When Marcia has no bed, she is left with precious few options, none of them good. She can ride the city bus, hoping for a kind driver who won’t boot her into the street. That’s what a 55-year-old woman I met named Dorothy used to do until she deemed that strategy too risky. “If you don’t get a nice driver, you have to get off every hour or so and wait for another one,” Dorothy said. “If you have to wait for a bus at three in the morning, you’ll be waiting a long time. Anything can happen.””
—By Rose Aguilar, The Nation; Wednesday, 30 January 2013 00:00
http://truth-out.org/news/item/14228-old-female-and-homeless




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Friday, January 25, 2013

Penitent Murderer's Prayer [Week's News Poem, January 25, 2013]

Penitent Murderer's Prayer [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, January 25, 2013]
If atonement were a spell
Instead of rotten nerves
Flickering beneath shells
Of skin amidst the curves;
The past I see so clearly
Would alter with awareness—
Anger treasured deeply
Was permission to be careless.
I wish I never was
Because
I wish I never was.

“"I'm sorry for the crime that I committed," 16-year-old Moses Kamin said, moments before an Alameda County judge sentenced him to 25 years to life in prison. "I hope none of you forgive me for my crime. I know you all think of me as a monster or something else. ... I'm just going to fade away. I hope none of you remember me ever again."”
—Henry K. Lee, San Francisco Chronicle, Updated 2:42 pm, Friday, January 25, 2013
http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Teen-who-killed-parents-Don-t-forgive-me-4224253.php

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Friday, January 18, 2013

Calvin Trillin Style [Week's News Poem, January 18, 2013]

Calvin Trillin Style [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, January 18, 2013]

This week's iambic news must rhyme the trite
With facts and names that fade when out of sight.

Did you hear about the trillion dollar mint?
An after dinner platinum coin we print
To bribe the sober headache aftermath
Of spendthrift ways; the pain of laughter's wrath.

Oh Calvin, any kid can write like you;
So why do you when verse's jobs are few?

Perhaps that's why the choppers never strafe
The people in your poems, why they're safe
Ensconced in paper sheafs inside your mind
Despite the desert heat, jihadikind.

I know your silly sort:
Quick to retort—
Both rapid
And vapid.

Well maybe we can talk about the guns
That don't work as Shel Silverstein-style puns?
I hear that Congress wants control.
A stack of parchment shall patrol
The empty depths of human wit,
Because the poets cannot fill it.




ps: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOYLIT!

 

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Friday, January 11, 2013

Influenza Allegory [Week's News Poem, January 11, 2013]

Influenza Allegory [Week's News Poem, January 11, 2013]

Influenza love story:
An epidemic allegory.
A child vomits virus cloud;
Recovers, fades into the crowd.
Influenza tragedy,
Is nothing more than comedy
That has lasted too long
And has the same corny song:
No no no!
Inside the subway car the millionaire
And the schizophrenic beggar share
A vent, are going in the same way,
Share destinations, the crowd, the sway.

“Influenza has officially reached epidemic proportions in the United States, with 7.3 percent of deaths last week caused by pneumonia and the flu, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Friday.”
—Sharon Begley, Fri Jan 11, 2013 5:57pm EST
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/01/11/us-usa-flu-idUSBRE9080WD20130111



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Friday, January 04, 2013

Things We Know To Be True [Week's News Poem, January 4, 2013]

Things We Know To Be True [Week's News Poem, January 4, 2013]
Internet owner's manual:
Pages of rage,
Filled to the Brin with sin.
Don't be evil,
Be aggressive.

““Don’t Be Evil,” the founders of Google, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, proclaimed in their 2004 “Owner’s Manual” for prospective investors in the company. Despite widespread cynicism, criticism and even mockery, the company has never backed down on this core premise, reiterating in its most recent list of the “things we know to be true” that “You can make money without doing evil.”...On Thursday, after nearly two years of investigation, the Federal Trade Commission rendered a verdict: Google isn’t evil. ”
—The Line Between ‘Aggressive’ and ‘Evil’ by JAMES B. STEWART, The New York Times, January 4, 2013



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Friday, December 28, 2012

Fundamentalism [Week's News Poem, December 28, 2012]

Fundamentalism [Week's News Poem, December 28, 2012]

We proselytize apocalypse;
worshiping doom
or its salesman.

“U.S. consumer confidence fell more than expected in December, hitting a four-month low as a looming fiscal crisis sapped what had been a growing sense of optimism about the economy.”
—Jason Lange, WASHINGTON, Reuters, Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:30pm EST
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/12/27/us-usa-economy-jobless-idUSBRE8BQ08P20121227



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Friday, December 21, 2012

The Sculptor Resists [News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, December 21, 2012]

The Sculptor Resists [News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, December 21, 2012]

Marble tears pollinate the tongue of boot,
Drift away, fertilizing every route
The Sculptor treads.
He cannot stop
Himself and stomps
The dust, his dread.

“In a rare appearance before national media, leaders of the National Rifle Association called on Americans to protect their children by putting armed guards in every school in the country. ”
—Linda Feldmann, Staff writer / December 21, 2012
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2012/1221/NRA-press-conference-Put-armed-guards-in-schools-video



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Friday, December 14, 2012

Dance of the Waterspout [Week's News Poem, December 14, 2012]

Dance of the Waterspout [Week's News Poem, December 14, 2012]

A gunman shot the kids away
To ride-off on the waterspout.
And every time the news obtains a tear,
I lift my arms and spin, then fall.
The world keeps spinning,
Nothing's free, not even sorrow.
I'll spin to see things clearly:
Swirling down the drain,
Nauseating (nauseous with migraine).
Just like DNA, a whirlpool,
A galaxy's edge, everything—
And I mean everything—
Is spinning out of control.
Of course I'll cry.
I am a waterspout.

“The gunman, who was believed to be in his 20s, walked into a classroom at Sandy Hook Elementary School, where his mother was a teacher. He shot and killed her and then fatally shot 20 students, most in the same classroom. He also fatally shot five other adults, and then killed himself inside the school. One person was also injured in the shooting.”
—JOSEPH GOLDSTEIN and WILLIAM K. RASHBAUM, NYT, Published: December 14, 2012
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/15/nyregion/shooting-reported-at-connecticut-elementary-school.html



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Friday, November 30, 2012

Metafiscal Cliff [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 30, 2012]

Metafiscal Cliff [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 30, 2012]

Beginning my descent smothered in air,
I missed the stair.

We all arrive at disaster,
Only, I'm faster.

Scrooge is only a partial exemption:
They remember the jerk, not his redemption.

I surmised that I did the same thing
And you will too.

“"If Congress does nothing, every family in America will see their taxes automatically go up on January 1," Obama said at a factory that makes Tinkertoys, among other things, in suburban Philadelphia. "That's sort of like the lump of coal you get for Christmas. That's a Scrooge Christmas."”
—Mark Felsenthal, Reuters, HATFIELD, Penn. | Fri Nov 30, 2012 3:51pm EST
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/11/30/us-usa-fiscal-obama-idUSBRE8AT0LH20121130



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Friday, November 23, 2012

Dirt Hunt [Week's News Poem, November 23, 2012]

Dirt Hunt [Week's News Poem, November 23, 2012]

My toes are expert hunters:
They snuffle in the humus.
Even my humerus knows
Whatever lost in the dirt
Regrows next season.

“Two people died and scores of people were hurt Thursday when up to 140 vehicles collided in in dense fog Southeast Texas in a pileup that left trucks twisted on top of each other and authorities rushing to pull survivors from the wreckage. ”
—NBC News staff and news services, The Associated Press and Reuters, 6:50 p.m. ET
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/22/15364379-140-car-pileup-in-texas-fog-kills-two-injures-dozens?lite


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Friday, November 16, 2012

Will of Sabotage [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 16, 2012]

Will of Sabotage [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 16, 2012]

Peace sounds like a great idea.
When we are angry, war sounds like a better idea.
War is the idea that you know you will stop being angry later.
Violence is the choice to do something irrevocable.

“Israel's cabinet authorized the mobilization of up to 75,000 reservists late on Friday, preparing the ground for a possible Gaza invasion after Palestinians fired a rocket toward Jerusalem for the first time in decades.”
—Nidal al-Mughrabi and Jeffrey Heller, Reuters, GAZA/JERUSALEM | Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:31pm EST
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/11/16/us-palestinians-israel-hamas-idUSBRE8AD0WP20121116


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Friday, November 09, 2012

Political Mistletoe [Week's News Poem, November 9, 2012]

Political Mistletoe [Week's News Poem, November 9, 2012]

A Halloween sweet tooth lasts all season long;
There are far more tricks than treats.
A goose is cooked, the turkey's fried;
Soon fat men will impersonate Santa.
Elections are over, the cliff of the year approaches;
Pucker up for a kiss, but first close your eyes.

“U.S. House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner on Friday called on President Barack Obama to lead the efforts to avert the $600 billion "fiscal cliff" of tax hikes and spending cuts looming at year's end, but stood by his opposition to any tax rate increases on the wealthy.”
—Reporting By David Lawder; Editing by Vicki Allen; Reuters, Fri Nov 9, 2012 12:02pm EST



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Friday, November 02, 2012

Ignoble Warning [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 2, 2012]

Ignoble Warning [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, November 2, 2012]

Money never wakens—it's dream and our creation;
Reflects our decisions—the worthiest divisions
Of spoils (for everything spoils, what doesn't toil).

I dreamed I wandered away from familiar—beyond—
Where Palestinians live in a duck blind and extract
A toll they want from me, but cannot get, from a teenager.

They stood him next to me, held out his trembling, hairless arm,
And sawed the first joint off his thumb, fed him jalapeno peppers
And let him bleed to death—he bled to death and they blamed me
And so did I.

“The trading week was shortened by a historic two-day market closure on Monday and Tuesday, spurred by superstorm Sandy's devastating sweep through the U.S. Northeast.
"We started off on strength, with nonfarm payrolls coming in above expectations. Then we drifted lower during the day. It's hard to determine what direction we are in - with the two days off, it's really been a strange week," said Fred Dickson, chief market strategist at D.A. Davidson & Co, in Lake Oswego, Oregon.”
—Chuck Mikolajczak, Reuters, NEW YORK | Fri Nov 2, 2012 4:33pm EDT

“The parents of two butchered Upper West Side kids asked their financially strapped nanny to do simple housework as a way to earn more money — but all that did was enrage the woman, law-enforcement sources told The Post. “She said something like, ‘I’m paid to watch the children, not clean up and do housework,’ ” a law-enforcement source said of Yoselyn Ortega’s statements to cops after she woke up from a medically induced coma Sunday.”
—JAMIE SCHRAM and LARRY CELONA, New York Post Last Updated: 3:54 AM, November 2, 2012, Posted: 1:53 AM, November 2, 2012



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Friday, October 26, 2012

Too Modern To Pray [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, October 26, 2012]

Too Modern To Pray [Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, October 26, 2012]

I take a leap of science,
and if I study God,
it's not for the setup,
it's the punchline.

“Hurricane Sandy, a late-season Atlantic cyclone that threatens to be one of the worst storms to hit the Northeast in decades, slogged slowly northward on Friday after killing at least 41 people in the Caribbean.”
—Tom Brown, Reuters, MIAMI | Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:54pm EDT
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/10/26/us-storm-sandy-hurricane-idUSBRE89N16J20121026

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Friday, October 05, 2012

Reincarnation of an Uncle Sam [This Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, October 5, 2012]

Reincarnation of an Uncle Sam [This Week's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, October 5, 2012]

Step inside the showroom of the Republic.
First, address your faith, or lack thereof.
Every flavor of God's for sale; try a domestic brand.

Nobody should leave godless, but we all can err.
Leaven your mood: consult with our experts.
Contemplate your life while we minister to your pain.

Uncle Sam's carnival, garish, executive polish.
“Am I a pimp? You know I am a religious man.”
“That's not a denial Sam.”

Awareness of persuasion increases our resistance.
When we're offered what we want, we cooperate.
I have everything and what I allow is outrageous.

Do you want to live forever?
I have doctors who can help with that.
Do you want to love forever? Same.

My stars and stripes aggress your eyes,
My costume is my work; I change minds
With physique, reason, interruption and other means of persuasion.

There are gestures that suppress free minds,
Forms of dominant eye contact;
Saying nothing well, and with a smile
is the
Uncle Sam everybody loves,
and fears—better fear
than love.

“President Barack Obama's lead over challenger Mitt Romney has narrowed to just two percentage points since the Republican's strong performance in their first debate, according to a Reuters/Ipsos poll released on Friday.”
—Patricia Zengerle, WASHINGTON | Fri Oct 5, 2012 3:28pm EDT






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Friday, September 28, 2012

Cattle Car [Today's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, September 28, 2012]

Cattle Car [Today's News Poem by Khakjaan Wessington, September 28, 2012]

The pen is obsolete, the screen is ticklish;
Every fingernail's a pixelated gesture:
Paragon of monitor, awaiting upload.

The driver's obsolete. The auto automat
Carpets chassis, asphalt, neutralizes hunger,
Activates the appetite and catches french fries.

The herd complains as geese, or sirens; stabbing horns,
Chewing crud or chips or bubblegum and blowing
Sculptures from our mouths; we are the art of ourselves.

“Corn futures surged nearly 6 percent on the Chicago Board of Trade after the U.S. Department of Agriculture reported corn stocks on September 1 were below 1 billion bushels for the first time in eight years. Wheat futures rose more than 5 percent, topping $9 a bushel after the data showed stockpiles were 7 percent less than forecast. ”
—Reuters, Charles Abbott, WASHINGTON | Fri Sep 28, 2012 4:27pm EDT



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Underground Irony [Today's News Fiction by Jenean McBrearty, September 28, 2012]

 
Underground Irony [Today's News Fiction by Jenean McBrearty, September 28, 2012]

Wise Hootie Owl— at WWW.ASKWHO.COM—was more than a website for the chronically confused. Directives such as, “Dump the SOB already”, issued with painful regularity to young people with hopeless attachments to abusive significant others, were also encoded messages to Wellwishers.
Editor-in-Chief Marston Michaels, 'ol M&M who loved chocolate unrepentantly, notified his submitting followers they'd be meeting, where and when, through arcane artistic allusions and advice to hormone dominated adolescents and wily whiny children.
Dear WHO: I live at home and my mother refuses to give me an allowance. Is this fair? I'm 8 years old. Signed, Oppressed.
Dear Oppressed: Suck it up and write me when you're 20 and on your own.
Meaning: WHO headquarters. Eight o'clock. Women's turn to bring the cupcakes. Yearly dues due.
The Censors had little trouble deciphering the message, except for the true ingredients of the refreshments and where, exactly, headquarters was. Wellwishers were suspected of using narcotics to induce creativity, and Wellwishers suspects were never seen leaving their homes.

**********

“The Allies planted false information about the D-Day invasion on a corpse, threw it into the sea, and made sure the Germans recovered it. Hitler concentrated his defenses in Calais. Maybe this is a Wellwisher decoy message meant to throw us off track,” FBI Director J. Meager said to the Writer's Task Force when they'd assembled at the Quantico, Virginia office.
“Or a feeble attempt at humor,” lead WTF Agent Turnbull said, “are we supposed to believe these subversives eat cupcakes?”
J. Meager shot agent Turnbull a glare, suspecting Turnbull was a turncoat. “We found a Wendy's receipt in Tim McVeigh's glove box. Don't think for a moment evil people only eat raw meat. Maybe it's time we reviewed why we're hunting down this crew.” The lights went off and a screen lowered for the PowerPoint slideshow. It reminded Turnbull of the noise a stage curtain made as it opened for the first act. J. Meager delivered his lines perfectly.
“No fictional or nonfictional creation, communication, or depiction shall display any of the following:
·Sexism
·Racism
·Lookism
·Violence
·Vulgarity
·Profanity
·Religious preference
No fictional or nonfictional creation, communication, or depiction shall use any of the above directed toward, used to describe, or created in scenes, that contain, in any form, explicit or implicit negative and/or stereotypical representations of conflicts between or among:
·Women
·Children
·Disabled people
·Lesbians, gays, bisexual, or transgendered people
·Animals
·Ethnic groups,
·Organizations political parties or entities
·Professions
·Environmental protection
These Wellwishers are purveyors of hate speech. A sneaky bunch that doesn't wish anyone well,” J. Meager said. “Remember that.”
Turnbull raised a hesitant hand. “They're fiction writers with First Amendment rights, right?”
“Yes, but like journalists they have to write within the rules about the right things. Clean. Harmonious. Peace promoting things. I think that'd be self evident from the laws, Turnbull. You defending these freaks?” J. Meager was still speaking in the dark.
“No, sir! I'm feeling anxious about the conflict between mother and child in the WHO letter.”
J. Meager turn off the computer, turned on the lights, and went to Turnbull's side. “I apologize. Didn't mean to imply disloyalty on your part. Not at all. And we're looking into shutting down advice columns that glorify parental economic deprivation. “
Turnbull wiped a tear off his cheek with his sleeve. “I hate child abuse,” he said.
“And that, People, is why Charles Dickens' books were put to the flames,” J. Meager told the Task Force patting Turnbull on the shoulder. “Base words give rise to base emotions that fuel base behavior. I want this task force to hit a home run.”

**********

Agent Turnbull opened his bedroom closet door and accessed a secret stairwell that led to a tunnel, that led to a great round room with 20 doors. A Wellwishers cell, Turnbull's was called Underground Irony, that connected 10—20 secret writers who'd moved into adjacent properties and immediately constructed basements and tunnels through their concrete slab foundations. Here, throughout America's cities, writers met to read and share and conjure their fictions in high-tech writers webs, air-conditioned, subterranean prison cells where everyone was free.
“Topside we live as worms and moles in glass and iron,” M&M said to Turnbull as they drank a six-pack of white wine coolers and waited for the others. “In catacombs we live in class irony, wrapped in cocoons of controversy and characters and cowardice. Treacherous. Traitors to both government-ordered order and individual liberty, because we're afraid to confront the Leviathan of Political Correctness. “
Turnbull couldn't accuse his Editor-in-chief of purple prose anymore than he could accuse J. Meager of 1st Amendment violations. Everyman writes his own version of a story. Instead he shook his head back and forth and up and down in balanced agreement and said, “How like our fiction is our nation. Subtexted. Fucked.”


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