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Sunday, October 24, 2010

Fen Trolls Haunt the Bell [Today's News Poem, October 24, 2010]

Fen Trolls Haunt the Bell [Today's News Poem, October 24, 2010]

The death tolls
of bell trolls.
Let's march to hell.
Pave it. We'll dwell
where the stone-parches
will match our fine arches.
Listen, this hellhole of stairs
and the best view of a world, which fares
like a fen,
was drained and surrounded with pen,
coated with rubble from vats
then crushed until flat:
it was rushed
and a haunting of will o' wisps brushed
off our pavement of sand
to ring the bell proudly and to strike up the band.

"The death toll from a cholera epidemic in Haiti topped 250 Sunday, and a handful of cases in the country's capital were confirmed, as government officials and aid groups prepared for what they call an inevitable spread of the disease. "
— BETSY MCKAY, The Wall Street Journal, OCTOBER 25, 2010
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303864404575572691625613642.html

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Baseball VERSES Eightball [#twitterfoundpoem, October 24, 2010]

Baseball VERSES Eightball [#twitterfoundpoem, October 24, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Eightball VERSES Baseball curses.
what can i do? i got out of the pool
and got coke ON yo table!
i came
from retirement, 70yr old
ON yo table!
Baseball curses on tv:
am i dissin' my girl?
Eightball VERSES:
am i drunk out
or drugged out of the pool
and into the Dugout?
AYE, IF U YELLIN OUT,
NOBODY FUCKS WIT YOU,
FUCKS WIT YOU, NOBODY
FUCKS WIT YOU,
AYE FUCKING WHAAACCK
FUCKING WHAAACCK
FUCKING WHAAACCK!!
AYE, NOBODY FUCKS WIT YOU,
FUCKS ON yo table.
the crabs ON yo table
got out of the pool.

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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Harmony of Microcosm; Macrocosm [Today's News Poem, October 23, 2010]

Harmony of Microcosm; Macrocosm [Today's News Poem, October 23, 2010]

Poison the poisoners: cure them with toxin.
Kill off the killers: negation is logic.
Reason with reasons: the truth is a context.
Validate values; for everything's worthy,
Possible, plausible, opposite, alternate.

"Britain's role in the alleged torture and unlawful killing of Iraqi civilians may be the subject of legal action following the publication of nearly 400,000 leaked military documents by the website WikiLeaks."
— Mark Townsend, Jamie Doward and Paul Harris, guardian.co.uk, Saturday 23 October 2010 19.51 BST
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/23/iraq-war-logs-legal-britain

http://wikileaks.org



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THEY ARE STANDING HERE!!!!!! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 23, 2010]

THEY ARE STANDING HERE!!!!!! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 23, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Can't turn on the TV without being bombarded with Demonic shit!!!!!
Demons are REAL. they are Standing here.
maybe someone already said that.
and maybe they will invade my thoughts.
they are Standing here
and ready to attack and Have me (personally) defenestrate me!!!!!
I turn Off the TV
and they are still Standing here!!!!!
Demonic Toys or New Years Evil
getting ready to do battle,
defenestrate someone out of the window:
isn't that redundant ?



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Friday, October 22, 2010

Jesse Noe Mendez is Probably a Pedophile [Bonus Poem, Re: CombatWords Spammer, Oct 22, 2010]

Jesse Noe Mendez is Probably a Pedophile [Bonus Poem, Re: CombatWords Spammer, Oct 22, 2010]
Alexa shows he has no rank:
It's wrong, his page is ripe with skank;
But Jess prefers a whiff of fart
And rolls in turds he calls his art.
His many fans are spammers too;
They're circle jerks: a smegma crew.

http://highartat1968.blogspot.com
http://theartofjesseiiflowers.blogspot.com
http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com

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Pre-Birthday Appeal to the Muses [Today's News Poem, October 22, 2010]

Pre-Birthday Appeal to the Muses [Today's News Poem, October 22, 2010]

Let death be a metaphor, not repercussion:
My oath was too hasty. A future to steal,
Yet still made the offer to cut off my life
In biblical half, as a sixteenth year kid.

Reneging is futile besides, so discussions
To swear—not like Jephthah—a different deal
That's kinder, is fair I think. Also my strife
With self must amuse you. I know you forbid

The breaking of promises, still you acknowledge
I'm faithless for God, but have faith in the Muses,
Ontology, possible worlds and if value
To you is idea then I've certainly served you
And meant what I said when I promised to serve you
And mean it 'till death—whatever you choose is correct.

"For his girlfriend Kate Winslet‘s 35th birthday last month, he paid the Belstaff store in London a visit and came away with the perfect gift—one of their classic leather jackets. "
—People Magazine, October 12, 2010
http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2010/10/12/the-scoop-on-kate-winslets-birthday-gift-from-her-new-boyfriend/?xid=rss-topheadlines

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You'll Get Your News Poem Soon, But 1st...

Toylit is 9 months old Today. 270 days, 270 News Poems, with probably another 30 Bonus Poems and 150 #twitterfoundpoems, for something like 450 poems this year. If Toylit is a tool in your news-digestion arsenal, please support it. Yes, this is the NPR pitch--sorry about that--but you know it's true. You only need to examine the advertisers 'in good faith' and that'll help me out without costing you anything. If you want to take it a step further, you can shell out the $20 for a copy of Toylit. It's cool if you don't want to do either, I'm glad you're reading.

Ok, time for the News Poem

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The Gun is Good! The Penis is Evil! CombatWords for October 22, 2010

"The safety of life is this, to examine everything all through, what it is itself, what is its material, what the formal part; with all thy soul do justice and to say the truth. What remains except to enjoy life by joining one good thing to another so as not to leave even the smallest intervals between."


Your rebuttal Zardoz?



http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/10/combatwords-october-22-2010-vice-virtue.html

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Vagblockcockblockpompompoms [#twitterfoundpoem, October 22, 2010]

Vagblockcockblockpompompoms [#twitterfoundpoem, October 22, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

IT'S INTERNATIONAL cockblock day!!
CELEBRATE that bullshit all day!!
Im bored with night life
So I might as well cockblock all day
AND all life. every other year i LIVED
AND every other night i died.
i hear they replaced life with pom-poms
AND heels of course. but yeah lemme know...
life IS SUCH A vagblockcockblockpompompoms
but death is even worse!!

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Red is Not Red Anymore [Today's News Poem, October 21, 2010]

Red is Not Red Anymore [Today's News Poem, October 21, 2010]

You said you could live in my mind;
A house I would share with you—both
Our properties joined with a door:
Unlocked, then unhinged and removed.

I walk to my office and sit:
My swiveling chair and my files
Surround me. The cabinet drawer
Is dented—my knuckles have scars.

I open it—look, there's the snap
You took in Sedona, the curls
In stones that predated the ape.
The redness like bricks in that pic:

Your house in Virginia—I loved
That first home because it was yours.
And after that things got much worse
For you and for us—though I loved

The sanity felt with you—still
There—even though cliffs are a plunge,
No longer a sentinel-call
To make this thing love—to define

It carnally after the minds
Have joined and not prior. It meant—
I don't know what it meant for you—
It's the only memory that mattered to me.

"When Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment during his explosive 1991 Supreme Court confirmation hearing, Thomas vehemently denied the allegations and his handlers cited his steady relationship with another woman in an effort to deflect Hill's allegations.
Lillian McEwen was that woman. "
—Michael A. Fletcher, Washington Post Staff Writer, Friday, October 22, 2010
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/21/AR2010102106645.html



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Hey Followers! Raid on the Mayans! RT This! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 21, 2010]

Hey Followers! Raid on the Mayans! RT This! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 21, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

hey!! followers!!
Watch out!! the mayans are out tonight
with blow dart GUNS!
We cannot be saved until
we have risen above all our enemies,
frenemies, Ma vision du couple and...
hey!! followers!!
Find friends and allies - and...know thine enemy.
The more you prep for opposition, the quicker you'll push thru.
ALL I GOTTA DO IS LIE
and i'll have all these followers, friends, allies and
henchmen. I rolled an 18 on my charisma,
rolled an 18 on my gun snipe,
and My henchmen conquistadors rolled a natural 20
for their genocide check...
now the mayans are Best frenemies with benefits,
real estate and all the rest for the sake of my benefit
for the sake of my love
and for the sake of my benefit!!

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Toylit Q1/Q2 2010 Report: Six Months of Gestation... FINISHED & ON SALE NOW!

Selected News Poems from Jan 22, 2010 through July 22, 2010. 119 pages w/ 110 poems. http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/toylit-q1q2-2010-report-six-months-of-gestation/9547765

Rutherford Toady did the artwork and it's pretty damned good. Don't believe me? Here's the cover:


I edited most of the poems: sometimes they needed punctuation changes, sometimes the final couplet was terrible--but of course sometimes the poems came out perfectly and needed no revision. 110 poems at $19.95 costs you about $.18 a poem; cheaper than the newspaper and more durable too (both in content and in format). This book represents a cumulative effort of approximately 600 hours and I'm pleased with the result. If you enjoy All the News in Witty Print (or All the News That's Shit; In Print), please buy a copy.

Also, let me know if you want to review it.

Thanks for reading,

-KW

ps: Sorry folks, no #twitterfoundpoems in this edition.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Virginia Thomas's Damned Spot [Today's News Poem, October 20, 2010]

Virginia Thomas's Damned Spot [Today's News Poem, October 20, 2010]

Though truth can be smothered, it's always uncovered.
Facts are just residue; sticky opinions
That decompose slowly, before they are wholly
Liquified; proof disappears with the witness.

The body loves twitching; so free of the itching
Life tends command, it is free to be rigid;
To burn up the lipids; to pulse with insipid
Fury, then slacking forever—then rotting.

The scent is much shriller (of course) for the killer;
Spoiling her evening, her marriage to status;
Her trips to salons where it stinks up her hair—
Rotting at breakfast, at dinner and bedtime.

""Good morning Anita Hill, it's Ginni Thomas," said the message left this month, according to a transcript provided by ABC News. "I just want to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometimes and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband."... But Lillian McEwen, a former Senate Judiciary Committee lawyer who said she dated Clarence Thomas from 1979 through the mid-1980s, told The Washington Post in an interview that Hill's long-ago description of Thomas's behavior resonated with her. "
—Michael A. Fletcher, Washington Post Staff Writer, Wednesday, October 20, 2010; 10:19 AM
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/19/AR2010101907062.html



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Samhain, Submarines & North Korea: New Poem in vis a tergo!

http://visatergo.wordpress.com



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Talon Bout in Class [#twitterfoundpoem, October 20, 2010]

Talon Bout in Class [#twitterfoundpoem, October 20, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

Why we talon bout death in class?
Almost 3:30 and feelin good,
juat wanna get fucked up: drinkin, burning..
first class all the way!
whatchu goin do When death-o-mania
comes for you by predator missile,
When you lose the last pride left in you
in a talon bout, in class, While Swords,
talon, predator, your teacher, and your class
are laughing at you?!



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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Optical Illusion [Today's News Poem, October 19, 2010]

Optical Illusion [Today's News Poem, October 19, 2010]

A mobile of airplanes
Projected a shadow
To prove that one's vision
Is fooled with some floodlights.
I gazed at the pattern,
Ignoring exhibits
Of physics in motion.
The cars were just dullards;
The airplanes, just metal.
The phone for the grown-ups,
Arranging and chatting.
Though fearsome, they groveled
While talking to someone:
An expletive, whispered.
Receivers in darkness.
Maturity seemed to
Be horror that ought not
Be spoken; a terror
Of duties to voices
That call in the evening;
The voice of possession.
I'm owned by an owner
Who's owned by an owner—
And sugar is meted
So carefully one must
Be certain that nothing
Is spilled, or we'll crawl on
Our knees to recover
Our losses and longings.
If pleasure's forsaken,
Then whimsy will vanish,
And cars will be autos—
Illusions, just shadows.

"The tugboats are moving, the dredges are working, and today Exploratorium officials will host a groundbreaking ceremony on a $300 million project that will transform two huge piers on the Embarcadero into a new home for the hands-on science museum."
—David Perlman, Chronicle Science Editor, Tuesday, October 19, 2010
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/10/18/MN941FS8PI.DTL

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Until Darkness Can't Even Imagine Darkness [#twitterfoundpoem, October 19, 2010]

Until Darkness Can't Even Imagine Darkness [#twitterfoundpoem, October 19, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

We must combine the toughness of the serpent
and the softness of the dick on a Tuesday afternoon.
We must look at the bright side until the darkness
can't even imagine darkness. We must continually
attend to our dick, whether Male or female,
let's get that clear. a tough mind and a tender heart
are delicious delicacies, and Besides
Times have changed mom: I must continually
attend to dick. since you've slept in the disturbing softness
of someone's penis salute, you know I must do it!
Your kids should always come first before the club
on a Tuesday afternoon , and you know I must do it!





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Monday, October 18, 2010

KNOW YOUR ENEMY!!! (Triumph of the Human Spirit)


Trees are masters of photosynthesis and get stronger in the light. As you can see at this rally, their leader has gotten powerful enough to wield a microphone.


The enemy has already mobilized its armies!



Our forces are outnumbered...



But with perseverance, we will triumph.

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The Faces of the Vegan Conspiracy


They claim to come in peace.


But you are placing your life in their hands.


And your DEATH is on their menu.

Reconsider that burger. I'm sure the cow deserved it.

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Nine to Five Thespian [Today's News Poem, October 18, 2010]

Nine to Five Thespian [Today's News Poem, October 18, 2010]

Images slicker than real-time flickers:
Dressed with refinement, a bow-tie assignment
Flying Mirages through the war zone barrages,
Landing with impact—his hair-piece intact—
Chick on his weenie; a pistol, martini
Clutched in his hands, as he battles through sand...
Fantasy works through the fancy of clerks
Gazing at clocks, 'till redemption from hock
Rescues the grinner, gritting for dinner.

"Two women postal workers were fatally shot Monday morning in a post office in Henning, Tennessee, about 50 miles northeast of Memphis, police said. "
— CNN Wire Staff, October 18, 2010 3:14 p.m. EDT
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/10/18/tennessee.postal.deaths/

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Major Clowning Around [#twitterfoundpoem, October 18, 2010]

Major Clowning Around [#twitterfoundpoem, October 18, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

I fell in a jar and hit bottom
somewhat hard.
I hit bottom. no mistake.
me: major clown.
They say no more clowning around for me.
what a drag.
I miss all the little things...
the rockets red glare
at the circus,
the bombs bursting in air
at the "Dark Carnival..."
I miss all the little things.

I'm just a major redheaded clown
In Search Of An Exit,
In Search Of my fighter jet...
In Search Of Cocaine!
I fell in a jar and hit bottom
somewhat hard.
what a major drag.

Someone told me, to live is to die.
I never thought it would come to this:
In Search Of An Exit,
In Search Of my fighter jet...
In Search Of Cocaine!
no more major clowning around for me.





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Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Valuable Breakers [Today's News Poem, October 17, 2010]

The Valuable Breakers [Today's News Poem, October 17, 2010]

I looked for the valuables.
Swept up my mother's house.
Did all her dishes.
Picked up my nieces:
We drove to the ocean.
We walked on the sand
And I picked out a pebble
Of jadeite: all slick from the water.
It glistened. Yet both of them
Managed to share it;
Each one surrounding
Its smoothness with knuckles;
Before they had slipped it in pocket
And looked for another;
While I combed the breakers
For mussels and maybe an oyster—
Who knows? Sometimes the world is generous.

"The U.S. dollar is likely to remain weighed down this week by mounting expectations that the Federal Reserve will adopt new stimulus measures, and the pressures on the greenback are unlikely to ease until more details of the Fed's plans are known."
—KAREN JOHNSON And ROBERT FLINT, The Wall Street Journal, OCTOBER 18, 2010
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704049904575554592862103802.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

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Deleted in the Street [#twitterfoundpoem, October 17, 2010]

Deleted in the Street [#twitterfoundpoem, October 17, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

stashed in mom's attic
dashed, with Another leap of faith
smashed in a Superman suit
dashed out mom's attic.
crashed onto the sidewalk. Deleted it.
flashed the axe at the scary guy
SLASHED PRICES at FINAL SALE CLEARANCE
Superman Boy smashed up,
Deleted in the street.

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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Retire on Bycatch [Todays's News Poem, October 16, 2010]

Retire on Bycatch [Todays's News Poem, October 16, 2010]

Rescue your credit and salvage the debits.
Appreciate surplus and transfer your best rates,
Best days—whatever it takes to obstruct and belay
Your ruinous dotage, so stay firm and don't edge
Off of a precipice, think of that late grace:
Your schooner set sail on some wetness in our pails.
Lapping elixirs of dolphins—those tricksters
You've lapped, but who escort the one who lays traps:
Pitting the planet against a new fish net
Discretionless rations surpassing greed's passions,
Feeding at bottom. The last fish? We caught them.

"Just as inflation scarred a generation of Americans, deflation has left a deep imprint on the Japanese, breeding generational tensions and a culture of pessimism, fatalism and reduced expectations. While Japan remains in many ways a prosperous society, it faces an increasingly grim situation, particularly outside the relative economic vibrancy of Tokyo, and its situation provides a possible glimpse into the future for the United States and Europe, should the most dire forecasts come to pass."
—MARTIN FACKLER, The New York Times, Published: October 16, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/17/world/asia/17japan.html

"Fishermen argue that the limits on some species are set too low and could devastate their industry. Under the rules, if fishermen exceed their limits for some species, they must stop fishing other species in the same group -- an attempt to protect overfished stocks from being pulled up as bycatch."
—ALLISON WINTER of Greenwire, The New York Times, Published: October 15, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/gwire/2010/10/15/15greenwire-obama-admin-shows-willingness-to-relax-fisheri-71389.html

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Hey! Whirled War Free! Shiv Pleas With Shanks! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 16, 2010]

Hey! Whirled War Free! Shiv Pleas With Shanks! [#twitterfoundpoem, October 16, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

He who has overcome
his fears will truly be Whirled War free.
imagine Whirled pleas:
shiv pleas with shanks.
hahahahaha. keep an eye opened for them.
An eye for an eye makes the whole world
eye eye! with more blinding opportunities,
so shiv pleas with shanks!

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Steppenmancer [CombatWords Story, October 15, 2010: Satire] Revised

Steppenmancer [CombatWords Story, October 15, 2010: Satire] Revised Oct 16, 2010

A bundle of haywire nerves twitching, Ant flicked his his AR (short for Augmented Reality) shades off his face and surveyed the howling neon street. It looked just like that Macy's Thanksgiving Parade with all that rainbow colored trash blowing in the 'roid rage wind. The last time he had seen a rainbow was in two thousand and three, but that didn't bother Ant. To him, the world had looked dead for a long time.

He was going to be late. Ant pumped his legs past a nodding red doorman with plastic eyes. A parked corvette told Ant to "BACK OFF! THIS CAR IS PROTECTED BY VENOM!" A clean-shaven Caucasian with an erection touched Ant's forearm and directed his attention to The Golden Phallus. For these occasions, Ant carried an aerosol spray can filled with LSD: a pressurized jet blinded the man. Ant ran across the street as the light changed. The sidewalk wobbled and Ant almost lost his footing, but over the years he had developed a tolerance for the drug.

While sprinting across Union Square, Ant put his AR mirror-shades back on: it was almost time. He emptied his spray can into the crowd while his AR shades commented on the scene. The drug dealer doing handstands on his Segway (Calvert Jackson: Age 22; last known address...); a crystal prostitute with abcesses on her arms (Monika Spektor, Age 19; Amber alert in 2007...), he walked next to the podium and smiled at The Candidate's ex-Spec Ops bodyguard. As Ant's thumb depressed the detonator, he thought of all the heroes to come. After the revolution, they will dismantle the bombs. Just think: if one man can kill The Candidate, imagine what will happen when the whole world goes Anarchist.

Go to http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/10/combatwords-october-15-2010-satire.html to play or just to read & maybe critique.

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Friday, October 15, 2010

Short Story Sighting on CombatWords

http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/10/combatwords-october-15-2010-satire.html

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The Wissenschaft of Pleasure [Today's News Poem, October 15, 2010]

The Wissenschaft of Pleasure [Today's News Poem, October 15, 2010]

Limousines, caviar, aspirin, vomit on sheets—
The spats smell like whiskey; the mustache, like hookers.
Pinching the needles of glass from the places that stab
The cornea, ventricle, heel... all those slivers
Chide him, reward him by loosing. Relieved of their heat,
He rolls from the bed to his knees for the tumbler—
Empty! He glares at the hobo, an expert in face:
A halo of stubble surrounding his grimace,
Alcohol drool on a rented tuxedo; and gone—
All of it's gone, so he licks what he can off a mirror:
Violence, pleasure, recovery—limitless indulgence.

"On Friday, the U.S. Treasury took a soft line with Beijing—for the moment—by delaying the release of a report on whether China and other nations "manipulate" their currencies. The Treasury said the yuan has climbed more than 1% a month since Sept. 2, a pace that "if sustained...would help correct" what the U.S. considers an undervalued currency. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner has talked approvingly of the 20% appreciation of the yuan between 2006-08, and has indicated that branding China a manipulator wouldn't accomplish anything. "
—BOB DAVIS and ELIZABETH WILLIAMSON, The Wall Street Journal, OCTOBER 16, 2010 Edition
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704049904575554463131051340.html

http://twitter.com/toylitpaper/status/27488789375
http://twitter.com/toylitpaper/status/27488971095

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Oooh Yeah Mama! It's Time For CombatWords! 10/15/2010: Satire

Go forth & mock.



http://combatwords.blogspot.com/2010/10/combatwords-october-15-2010-satire.html

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Darkiness Falls and the Stars Arrive [#twitterfoundpoem, October 15, 2010]

Darkiness Falls and the Stars Arrive [#twitterfoundpoem, October 15, 2010]
Tweets+Edits=#twitterfoundpoem

I can't find anything
I'm looking for in cyberspace.....
The mind reels at the potentiality
in cyberspace.....
find Endless probabilities
of happiness.....

can't connect?!?! stupid internet is stupid.....
Except for Bert and Ernie,
how many ugly celebrities modify their assholes
with a stupid haircut?????
People used to say I looked
like the drummer from Green Day:
I was an ugly asshole with a stupid haircut.
Bert and Ernie kissing ugly assholes
[their ugly assholes] off camera. I'm looking
for anything in cyberspace.
The mind reels at the potentiality of Bert and Ernie,
the drummer from Green Day,
and ugly celebrities looking for happiness,
as darkiness falls, & stars arrive
on New Celeb-Tracking Site.

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